Being busy all the time kills your creativity, your relationships, and your ability to notice what matters. ~@orangebook
It’s now over a week since I returned to civilisation, and I think I’ve managed to doze off the jet lag. I’ll try to regain my sanity and routine. Hopefully, I’ll start writing again. But first, let me string some words together with morning pages.
Oh my morning pages! When last did I write 2/3 pages before 7 am? It seems an eternity!
Well, who knows? This piece may even make it to my #DiasporaDiary… let’s do this!
If I tell you that 2025 flashed by, please believe me.
I hustled like a robot. Rising early not to write but to earn or go to school.
It was from school/work to the gym and then home. Repeat the next day!
That triangular lifestyle took a toll on my writing and critical thinking.
I had little or no time to refill my cognitive resources, so my creativity waned.
Well, they say you lose something to gain something.
I stacked my coffers and added another qualification to my resume.
Not bad if you ask me. But I want to believe my recent trip to Nigeria will be the end of that rollercoaster.
After my friend’s funeral last August, I silently prayed my next visit home wouldn’t be for another funeral. That prayer probably didn’t reach my ceiling, much less heaven.
My visits to Nigeria are usually a whirlwind of chaos, blending joy and stress. For the first time, I didn’t leave the state capital territory during my 2 weeks in Anambra. There was no need to anyway.
I had fun socialising..enjoyed better weather, albeit sweltering this time around, and savoured great cuisine, of course..indeed, just being home with family, friends and relatives is unquantifiably rewarding.
But then there is the stress from poor amenities like the epileptic power supply. It is debilitating that Nigeria still struggles with electricity..it actually kills me..arrrgh!
The insecurity too..having to look over your shoulder and taking extra caution.
We had countless meetings on land matters, family squabbles and petty issues rooted mostly in low productivity. I mean, you have less time for these things when you are very productive. I wrote on this topic and suggested that Africa only needs improved productivity.
And finally, the funerals..they weigh me down, particularly when some of the deaths are avoidable.
This trip commenced with my cousin’s funeral. I’ll rather not dwell on his protracted illness because it’s traumatising.
Growing up, we were 5 & 6. We did everything together, and whenever my dad spanked me, he would be next. I didn’t cry on seeing his corpse because I knew he was long gone. He left that body when he was ill.
Yet I couldn’t hold back tears during the outing service when I saw his widow and 4 kids dressed in white.
Why would Chidi leave these beautiful kids?
I’m not questioning God. I’m only ruminating.
I guess Chidi himself ’ll answer that question when we meet again.
Ozo, my trusted ally and Man Friday, also passed on.
I’m yet to process how a guy who sounded well enough when I spoke to him around 3 pm could suddenly be gone 5 hours later. Shocking!!!
But Ozo died..so unexpectedly. It is painful, and even moreso since he left neither a widow nor a child behind. As my late cousin Chidi Ijeoma (Otukpo) said from his sick bed, “ije uwa n’esi na Chi.” Contextually, it means “life’s journey is a matter of destiny”.
The aforementioned three were my men..I trusted them and confided in them. They are now gone..to be with their maker..may their souls rest in peace.
I lived in Nigeria for over 40 years before relocating to Ireland.
It was a tough decision because I wasn’t migrating for economic reasons.
I wanted to join my family as my kids approached their teenage years.
They needed a father figure. But I could have brought them back to Nigeria, yes, it was an option.
We could live and thrive anywhere in Nigeria..yet I knew my other desire to see the world could only be facilitated by a red passport, so I moved.
That choice negatively impacted my bank balance..at least for a while.
In the end, it turned out to be the best decision I ever made, and I often wonder why I didn’t move earlier.
Life in Nigeria has always been hectic..but sadly, our productivity isn’t commensurate with the activity level.
When I lived in Nigeria, my typical day rarely started early.
What with nkwobi, isi ewu and alcohol consumed almost every night.
It didn’t matter then because I could delegate.
I had subordinates who did the early morning work..or so I thought.
It wasnt until I moved to Lagos that I realised I had to be on the Lekki Expressway by 5.3am if I hoped to be at the station early.
Anything later than that could mean spending 2 hours from Chevron to Oniru.
And I loathe traffic! If there’s a reason I will never live there again, it is the chaotic traffic.
Mind you, it’s not as if I didn’t have an efficient manager then..but in a frenetic city like Lagos, you must shine your eyes, else…..
So I had to be at the filling station at the start of the day’s business.
That habit shaped my life, akin to many successful individuals. If you wish to achieve, start rising early. I also wrote specifically about this virtue here.
In this part of the world, life is also hectic but organised and highly productive. Access to a job and basic amenities reduces stress.
With 24/7 power supply..the gym..parks..clinic and mall are all within reach. As in your usual prayer points are drastically reduced.
You go about your business without fear. Indeed, teenage girls stroll at night with their phones visibly tucked into their rear pockets.
What excuse do you have to be unproductive?
Why wouldn’t life expectancy be high?
Ok, ok, our socialisation sucks..life can be lonely, and some say boring.
But I’m never bored. I can’t possibly be. My life is too active for boredom, regardless of where I am. If I get a whiff of that feeling, I simply get up and jog. If I don’t feel like jogging, I’ll read, write, or watch a movie. Before you know it’s already dark, and you must sleep. That’s it..the day’s gone!
Still, I understand why some of us feel lonely and bored.
Perhaps it’s because they didn’t grow up here, so there aren’t many friends to socialise with.
Perhaps not..because there are folks who have lived in a neighbourhood for ages but rarely chat with neighbours. They may know themselves, but just don’t prioritise small talk as we do in Nigeria.
Or simply don’t have time for that. Everyone has work to attend to.
Yes, life here revolves mostly around work! work!! work!!!
That in itself can also be overwhelming..thus finding a balance becomes a treasure.
I found that balance long ago. It may shift now and then, but a good routine helps reset it. It’s time to return to my routine..to reading, reflecting, working out and getting adequate rest.
It’s time to start writing again..writing regularly, I mean, because that is how I converse with myself. That’s how I motivate myself and also inspire you, my dear reader.
It’s time to cut back on other targets, reduce social media distraction and refocus on my aspirations for the cmonionline community.
But first, I’ll take a well-deserved one-week vacation.
When I return, I should be refreshed enough to start hammering away at this keyboard…and so help me God.
Here ends my musings for the day….COOOOOOURT!!!
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