Being busy all the time kills your creativity, your relationships, and your ability to notice what matters. ~@orangebook
Welcome to the distinctive month of September.
September is unique in some ways. It marks the beginning of the last, and perhaps busiest, quarter of the year, ushers in the cold season here, and signals the start of the festive period worldwide. I cherish this month because it jolts me back into productivity after a ‘busy’ summer.
Now, busy brings money, as I usually say. So we love to be busy, or at the very least appear to be, filling every moment with constant noise and activity.
However, as I aged, I realised that being busy can feel like being trapped in an overcrowded room where every element competes for your attention simultaneously. Your thoughts are scattered instead of gathered, and tasks are started and paused abruptly because of distractions. Indeed, you can be busy for hours and still end up with little or no work done.
This reminds me of my early days in business. I often woke up late, then headed to my filling station. I would review the books, leave some instructions, grab breakfast, and then drive to Enugu to shuttle between the banks, Con Oil Area office and NNPC depot.
My days would wind down around 3–4 pm for the most enjoyable part of the routine…a sumptuous meal at Emily restaurant, Madam Volvo or Anida — God bless her soul. Sometimes I drove back to sell ‘black market’ in Amawbia until late at night, and on other days I stayed in my Enugu home. But each day I still found time to hang out at my regular bar before going to bed.
And that’s it… the day was done. It was rinse and repeat the next day.
Over time, I realised I could accomplish more by doing less.
So I rented an office opposite my station, started a cybercafe, and employed five people to run it.
I also engaged a depot representative to handle the Enugu operations, followed by hiring a manager for my station. Initially, it was a retired uncle I was urged to help, and later a seasoned ex-banker who brought his expertise in bookkeeping and inventory control.
I started rising earlier, thanks to my oga Chief Enekwe, and delegated more responsibilities.
The results were tangible: better organisation, improved revenue, and more time to focus on what truly mattered, like getting married…
Now I look back and compare my routine to what obtains here.
I lived in Nigeria for over 40 years before relocating to Ireland.
It was a tough decision because I wasn’t migrating for economic reasons.
Actually, relocating temporarily reduced my financial net worth.
But you have to lose something to gain something… or, as economists put it, there’s always an opportunity cost.
Nevertheless, it was a great choice because I joined my family as my kids approached their teenage years.
They needed a father figure.
I could have brought them back to Nigeria — yes, that was an option, one my father-in-law subtly advocated.
But I also wanted to see the world, so I moved.
Initially, things went smoothly, with the school run as my main responsibility. I relied on my Nigerian income while wasting time on social media, until the naira devaluation made this unsustainable.
I got a flexible part-time job to support my travel-intensive lifestyle without further straining my naira earnings.
In less than 3 years, my work hrs increased significantly from 12/15hrs weekly to over 50 hrs.
This brings me to the juice of my story.
Sometimes, busyness consumes you to the point where it hinders your creativity, relationships, and awareness of what truly matters.
I’ve been guilty of this. I didn’t notice my son had started drinking until we converged recently in Sligo for wifey’s birthday.
He gulped down glasses of champagne while we dined.
My boy rarely drank; his usual choice was Fanta or Sprite. When I expressed surprise, he just laughed — never been much of a talker.
“So you don’t know your son now drinks?” his mum teased.
It was sweet music to my ears. I believe boys must do what they should to grow into men.
“Great! Now we can visit the pub together,” I chuckled.
The next morning, after a walk with my first daughter, we sat in the hotel lobby for a scheduled chat.
We discussed her new healthy lifestyle, her plans and, of course, supporting her siblings. Two revelations hit home.
- Seeing diabetes patients in nursing school inspired her to be more serious about healthy living.
- Her brother quit biscuits and fizzy drinks and started exercising regularly.
Now, it’s not as if I hadn’t noticed the absence of sugary snacks in my home; it is that I should have interrogated that absence.
Why should this be so important?
I’ll tell you why.
I often joke that if my daughters were boys, I would have retired to Amawbia years ago. I know girls tend to mature faster mentally than boys, but frankly, I was at my wit’s end with my son.
For about a year, we were somewhat estranged due to defiance.
He rejected the courses offered to him at college, refused to get a job, and sank deeper into unhealthy habits like eating late and playing games constantly.
He simply refused to grow as I wished him to.
We had a meeting with his mum, and I concluded that he wanted to be his own man. He wanted to make his own decisions.
Good and fine! So I stopped advising. I didn’t stop caring, but adopted my father’s mantra: nwoke gha emeche fvu ifve ibie fvuu— a man will eventually see what others saw.
Now, with his new habits, I wonder if my indifference worked some magic?
Or was his mother and siblings’ gentle approach more effective?
Perhaps giving him that space combined with wifey’s tender care prompted introspection and the personal decision he craved.
Yet, because I was busy, I failed to grasp the significance of the changes.
But it’s never too late when it comes to our kids.
So when we returned, I took him to the pub for a chat. He was so open that he asked a question that surprised me:
“Why did you and mum choose to come to Ireland?”
Well, erm, that’s a story for another day.
You see, experiencing busyness is like endlessly running on a treadmill, expending energy and generating heat without moving forward. The corollary can be fatigue, disorientation, and misplaced priorities.
In contrast, productivity means stepping off that treadmill, choosing a clear goal, and taking purposeful, meaningful steps with calm intention toward achieving it. It means having more time for the essential things, with results measurable in terms of the value accomplished.
Now, let me draw you back to the opening quote of this story.
It is golden; please take your time to digest and analyse it.
And allow me to extrapolate with another quote by the same author:
There are many conventionally ‘successful’ people who struggle with their marriages and relationships with their kids because they treated these as just another task to outsource and automate. If you want true wealth, you must understand that life isn’t only about efficiency and productivity. Great bonds require your physical and emotional presence; without that, you miss the most important aspect of true wealth.
Parenting teenagers can be tough..as in very tough. You have to strike a balance between their rebellious desire for independence and the value of parental guidance. But what we must never do is give up.
My parents never gave up on me, so why should I abandon my responsibility to raise good kids?
I’m pleased to conclude by saying my son is going to college this month.
I imagined my wife thumping her chest with “told ya” when she informed me while I was in Nigeria. What would I be without that wonderful woman, eh? So once again, I’ll be there for my boy, guiding, advising, and supporting while still allowing him the space to be an adult.
After all, the progress of our kids will always be our BIGGEST WIN.
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