Come and see American wonder, come and see American wonder! ~ Anon This post was delayed by a combination of jet lag, COVID and lousiness but finally, here we are. I could have captioned it “How To Migrate To America” or one of the numerous Hows to get hits but naaah, that has never been my style because I write for a special audience. Yes, a growing community of friends, writers and other creatives who appreciate my versatility and not-too-recent transition from political opinions to texts that add real value. So American Wonder will be a multi-part treatise that offers information, tips and resources on migrating to God’s own country. If you grew up in the nostalgic 80s Nigeria like I did you will be familiar with my opening verse which is a song commonly recited by journeymen while performing tricks. It was so popular that the audience would often sing along as they watched and those who witnessed American wonder often turned out to be streetwise. I think we should seek out the originator of this song and give the person a befitting chieftaincy title because America is indeed the land of plenty. Oh yes, it is so vast and rich that a single state can match countless nations in size and GDP. Little wonder the average American is usually confident and willing to tread where eagles dare without trepidation. In global competitions, their athletes howl and bark with authority as if the trophy is already in the kitty. A friend joked that it is so because they already feel like winners since national tournaments like the baseball championship are referred to as the World Series. You can’t possibly enumerate the things that are different and unique to Americans. From the light switch to the confusing date order and non-metric measurements. There are drive-thru restaurants everywhere, and then you have huge coffee/soda cups and endless refills. The iconic yellow school buses are kings of the road, don’t mess with them. And then you have the annoying but cheaper price tags that are exclusive of taxes. Why not just include the damn taxes?! From the expansive George Bush Intercontinental Airport to Dallas and Las Vegas, 9 out of 10 vehicles are trucks. With a population of about 332 million, America has almost 300 million registered vehicles as of 2021. These people practically drive to the restroom! It is no wonder President Bush Jnr once declared that “America is addicted to oil”. Yet they have oil. And in abundance too. States like Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas have some of the cheapest gasoline prices in the Western world. But the sweetest thing about the country is the Americans. They are hospitable and incredibly friendly to strangers. And not just that, they are boisterous about it. It seems more like a rule than a deliberate innocuous attempt to make eye contact when they say hi or good day. At the shops, cashiers strike a conversation with new faces like they are regulars and the person next to you in a queue will likely ask how your day is going as if you are the next-door local. It is too palpable to miss and curious as always I asked a cashier at the Ross branch in Richmond if her pleasant demeanour is a part of her or the job. Her reply: “I would say both, you ain’t gon get hired in this country with a straight face”. At Sugar Land Texas, I sauntered into my hotel lobby after jogging in the morning and was disappointed to discover that breakfast was already over by 9.30 am. I asked the young man seated in the dining hall if I could get a few bites for my family upstairs. He replied that he was an applicant waiting for an interview. Casually dressed in a jumper, denim and trainers, I thought he was inappropriately dressed for the occasion. To my amazement, the beautiful and exceedingly nice receptionist beckoned him over to a corner and immediately started the interview. I overheard everything, and the guy performed excellently. I would later ask the receptionist if the dress code isn’t a consideration for such an exercise, to which she replied “It is, you can appear casual or formal, but we are trained to focus more on what’s inside.” Profound! At Main Event Grand Prairie, the barista requested my ID and I was mirthfully asked if my grey beard didn’t count for something. “Sir, you coulda walked in here with a cane and I would still ask for an ID, it’s the law”, she replied with a very warm smile. Again I had to ask if the courteous manner came with the job or her upbringing. “Of course, it’s part of the job but out there you are likely to see me smiling a lot more”, she said this time with a throaty chortle. Yet in another instance, I was told not to worry as I reached for my wallet to pay for filling my tyres. “It’s just air, you don’t have to pay for it”, he said. It’s not that I don’t get free air at gas stations back in Ireland, but this guy particularly reminded me that the best things in life like air should be free. A lady who sells drinks at the iconic Welcome To The Fabulous Las Vegas park offers a free snack for each drink and repeatedly announces that the peanuts shouldn’t be missed. I politely refused mine because I had a cough. Minutes later my daughter who savoured hers went back to buy another pack and she told her “You can have your daddy’s pack, it’s still free”. For her candour, I felt I should tip her as we left the place. Her daughter informed me that she was on a call in her car. I looked and saw her in a hybrid Hyundai. Surprised that this woman who hawked drinks in a park owns such a nice car I could have left with