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Blog, Diaspora Diary.

Diaspora Diary: Why You Should Emigrate.

We are not going to make progress. We are not going to develop. We will not be secure. We will remain poor. These are not curses. They are the most highly probable consequences of our social paradigms. Almost mathematically certain. No amount of prayers will stop this. ~Ayo Sogunro Before I write the 2nd instalment of American Wonder please permit me to do this important piece cum pitch. I know I shouldn’t be writing about politics in our Diaspora Diary, but let’s conveniently categorise this as a sociopolitical topic. The above quote from Dr Ayo Sogunro was part of his reaction to the debate over Tinubu’s certificate scandal, and you can read his entire tweet here. This story was specifically captioned to catch your attention, but I hope it will also persuade you to reflect and act. There are countless reasons why Nigeria will not make progress, but here is a poignant one, so read on. I recently met a wise guy in Vegas who aligned with the Sogunro’s position and illustrated it by analysing his experience in Nigeria before migrating to God’s own country. Here goes! The 62-year-old man holds a degree in Business Administration and worked as a banker for 22 years in Nigeria after about a decade of job hunting. He finally decided to check out like Andrew at 49 when he visited America in 2010. During that vacation, his interaction with old mates revealed that these guys were making steady progress while the reverse was his case back home. How you may ask. Here is the thing. Rising through promotions and salary increments in the bank, he attained a managerial position by 2004 and thought he had arrived. Who wouldn’t think so? A bank manager is an enviable achievement anywhere in the world. Well to the less ambitious folks, not necessarily our guy. While in the US, he discovered that his mates were able to set targets and meet them because they had stability in their chosen vocations. Consequently, they achieved more in terms of wealth, academics, and self-development. Particularly the last for this simple reason; Self-development doesn’t depend on money but if you attain a certain level of financial stability, you are more likely to start thinking about developing yourself and others. It was then that a stark realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. As he progressed in rank and salary, he was actually getting poorer in real terms because the combination of inflation and incessant devaluation of the naira continuously eroded his purchasing power. His situation was akin to the classic Fela hit ODOO ( Overtake Don Overtake Overtake) where the Afrobeat legend sang about a man who was saving to buy a fan. Go and look up the lyrics. Our guy told me that when he landed in God’s own country, he started as a gas station cashier in Atlanta while his wife did some courses and joined the healthcare sector. Having saved up some funds after 2 years, they moved to Vegas where he partnered with a friend to start valeting. Today, he owns a valeting agency and a vehicle salvage business. He said that in less than 10 years, he achieved more in America than he did in over 2 decades as a banker back home. When he finished his story he concluded thus; “Nigeria go survive is a soundtrack we started singing since childhood. Check am bro. The 70s was better than the 80s and the 80s was better than the 90s, it just keeps getting worse. Nigeria will not develop as it is PRESENTLY STRUCTURED. Anyone who tells you otherwise is deceiving you. It is better to go where you will make progress because you have only one life to live.” There and then I was reminded of another wise man, my good friend Tony Alika Igwebuike who told me in 2016 that the real value of the naira would be around N1000 to a dollar. That’s a story for another day but of course, he has been vindicated. Now it’s not as if there aren’t successful people in Nigeria, after all, Dangote, Otedola, Elumelu et al made it so why can’t you? The devil’s in the details if you ask me. But I can bet those three would have more than tripled their wealth if they put in the same effort and leveraged similar patronage in saner climes. The food for thought, however, is why the tech gurus who develop innovative solutions for real-life problems are now richer than merchants and bankers in the Western world. For my friends who will mockingly ask why I suddenly realised this after supporting Buhari. Well, some of us hoped that Buhari would at least start reducing the cost of governance, curb the insecurity, and improve our infrastructure. Those areas are supposedly his forte, or so they claimed. His record did not include economic prosperity. Unfortunately, he failed woefully in all areas. And yes including infrastructural development viz a viz the borrowing/implementation indices. Again I’m sorry to disappoint my other friends with an unpopular fact: If you give Peter Obi 16years he will not perform magic. The best he can achieve is some prudence in Aso Villa. I believe that the Peter I know will not sign off billions for Aso Rock kitchen and that’s actually a good start considering the rot in our system. But that’s about where it ends. He can’t possibly sanitise the entire executive controlled by a monumentally corrupt civil service. Then of course he wouldn’t dare the legislators because more than anyone he knows that would definitely end in his impeachment. You all know I’ve been an optimistic promoter of Nigeria. But who would have known that after 8 years of living abroad on earnings in naira, yours truly will need a job to sustain himself? Is €=N1056 a joke to you? My dear friend, I’m now satisfied to contribute my quota to the development of our country from the diaspora. I’m neither optimistic nor pessimistic rather I remain hopeful. If any administration delivers any form of progress in the future, I will rejoice

Blog, Diaspora Diary., FEATURES

Diaspora Diary: American Wonder Part I

Come and see American wonder, come and see American wonder! ~ Anon This post was delayed by a combination of jet lag, COVID and lousiness but finally, here we are. I could have captioned it “How To Migrate To America” or one of the numerous Hows to get hits but naaah, that has never been my style because I write for a special audience. Yes, a growing community of friends, writers and other creatives who appreciate my versatility and not-too-recent transition from political opinions to texts that add real value. So American Wonder will be a multi-part treatise that offers information, tips and resources on migrating to God’s own country. If you grew up in the nostalgic 80s Nigeria like I did you will be familiar with my opening verse which is a song commonly recited by journeymen while performing tricks. It was so popular that the audience would often sing along as they watched and those who witnessed American wonder often turned out to be streetwise. I think we should seek out the originator of this song and give the person a befitting chieftaincy title because America is indeed the land of plenty. Oh yes, it is so vast and rich that a single state can match countless nations in size and GDP. Little wonder the average American is usually confident and willing to tread where eagles dare without trepidation. In global competitions, their athletes howl and bark with authority as if the trophy is already in the kitty. A friend joked that it is so because they already feel like winners since national tournaments like the baseball championship are referred to as the World Series. You can’t possibly enumerate the things that are different and unique to Americans. From the light switch to the confusing date order and non-metric measurements. There are drive-thru restaurants everywhere, and then you have huge coffee/soda cups and endless refills. The iconic yellow school buses are kings of the road, don’t mess with them. And then you have the annoying but cheaper price tags that are exclusive of taxes. Why not just include the damn taxes?! From the expansive George Bush Intercontinental Airport to Dallas and Las Vegas, 9 out of 10 vehicles are trucks. With a population of about 332 million, America has almost 300 million registered vehicles as of 2021. These people practically drive to the restroom! It is no wonder President Bush Jnr once declared that “America is addicted to oil”. Yet they have oil. And in abundance too. States like Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas have some of the cheapest gasoline prices in the Western world. But the sweetest thing about the country is the Americans. They are hospitable and incredibly friendly to strangers. And not just that, they are boisterous about it. It seems more like a rule than a deliberate innocuous attempt to make eye contact when they say hi or good day. At the shops, cashiers strike a conversation with new faces like they are regulars and the person next to you in a queue will likely ask how your day is going as if you are the next-door local. It is too palpable to miss and curious as always I asked a cashier at the Ross branch in Richmond if her pleasant demeanour is a part of her or the job. Her reply: “I would say both, you ain’t gon get hired in this country with a straight face”. At Sugar Land Texas, I sauntered into my hotel lobby after jogging in the morning and was disappointed to discover that breakfast was already over by 9.30 am. I asked the young man seated in the dining hall if I could get a few bites for my family upstairs. He replied that he was an applicant waiting for an interview. Casually dressed in a jumper, denim and trainers, I thought he was inappropriately dressed for the occasion. To my amazement, the beautiful and exceedingly nice receptionist beckoned him over to a corner and immediately started the interview. I overheard everything, and the guy performed excellently. I would later ask the receptionist if the dress code isn’t a consideration for such an exercise, to which she replied “It is, you can appear casual or formal, but we are trained to focus more on what’s inside.” Profound! At Main Event Grand Prairie, the barista requested my ID and I was mirthfully asked if my grey beard didn’t count for something. “Sir, you coulda walked in here with a cane and I would still ask for an ID, it’s the law”, she replied with a very warm smile. Again I had to ask if the courteous manner came with the job or her upbringing. “Of course, it’s part of the job but out there you are likely to see me smiling a lot more”, she said this time with a throaty chortle. Yet in another instance, I was told not to worry as I reached for my wallet to pay for filling my tyres. “It’s just air, you don’t have to pay for it”, he said. It’s not that I don’t get free air at gas stations back in Ireland, but this guy particularly reminded me that the best things in life like air should be free. A lady who sells drinks at the iconic Welcome To The Fabulous Las Vegas park offers a free snack for each drink and repeatedly announces that the peanuts shouldn’t be missed. I politely refused mine because I had a cough. Minutes later my daughter who savoured hers went back to buy another pack and she told her “You can have your daddy’s pack, it’s still free”. For her candour, I felt I should tip her as we left the place. Her daughter informed me that she was on a call in her car. I looked and saw her in a hybrid Hyundai. Surprised that this woman who hawked drinks in a park owns such a nice car I could have left with

Blog, Diaspora Diary., FEATURES

Diaspora Diary: Japa Should Be About Skills, Skills And Skills!

To grow capacity in your career, you need to move from the place of position to a place of skill acquisition.~ Olawale Daniel When I talk about skills it is because I’ve seen what a lack of it can cause. Some of us emigrated late in life and I can tell you it’s tougher to integrate. Firstly, you have to get a job and many entry-level vacancies target younger people. If I knew what I know now I would have stayed back in Cardiff after my masters over a decade ago. By now I would be an associate Professor. But my belief and businesses in Nigeria were far too convincing so I went back to oil money. As you can see, that decision didn’t age well because, like some people I mentioned in my defence of japa, I moved again after 4 years. This time to Ireland where my family had been since 2004. I’ve now lived here for 8yrs. Who would have thought?! My plan was to return after meeting the following objectives. 1. To be with my family as the kids navigate their teenage years. 2. To get the citizenship that will facilitate my globetrotting lifestyle. I travelled to Nigeria almost every quarter to oversee my businesses. But as the years flew by, the naira continued plummeting as the Buhari administration plunged the economy into deeper turmoil. When the situation continued to worsen with rising insecurity and unbearable economic hardship something had to give. Yours truly wisely decided to make the relocation permanent, and here we are. I’m rambling again innit? Ok, back to our story for today and it will do intending japarists (migrants) and new immigrants as well a lot of good to read to the end. It is an interesting encounter with some valuable lessons. I usually dispose of my recycle heap bi-monthly. Sometime in 2021, I called my usual man with a van, an Albanian named Fitor who has previously helped me with more than disposal to do the job. But he had moved on to bigger things. He informed me that he is now a software developer. So I searched online and called a few numbers but received high quotes till I got Mohammed. Yes! I knew I had someone who should understand a fellow immigrant’s budget constraint and be amenable to negotiation. Mohammed was polite and charged me €20 cheaper without requesting a picture of the load. What more can I ask for? When he showed up he was like I imagined. A slender Arab-looking guy in his 30s or thereabout. We immediately hit off and got talking as we loaded the van with sacks. He was more energetic than I thought and in 10–15 minutes we were done. As we drove to the dump our gist shifted to the usual “Where are you from?” that immigrants rarely miss when they get together for the first time. “I’m from Somalia,” he said proudly to my delight. When I replied that I’m a Nigerian he exclaimed “Bruv are you new in the area? Cos I know most of the Nigerians in this hood. I run disposals for them.” I explained that I don’t have many Nigerian friends over here as I’m almost always back home in Nigeria. “So what do you do?” he asked. “I’m currently studying for a postgraduate diploma at UCC.” “Oh that’s good, are you working too?” “Not really, but I have businesses in Nigeria that’s why I’m always there but I do a little trading on Donedeal.” “No bruv No, you need to get a job or get into self-employment like I’m doing. You will pay me €80 for a job that will take half an hour. Believe me, scientists don’t earn that. There is more money to be made here and if you can delegate your businesses, do it and start earning here.” Mohammed ended up telling me his life story. He migrated to Ireland in 2003. As a 20-year-old boy he had hopes, the land was full of promises and the future looked bright. The state welcomed him, gave him a home and placed him in CIT where he started studying Engineering. He took up a part-time telesales job to augment his welfare package from the state. By the time he graduated the Irish economy was struggling in a severe recession with rising job losses and unemployment. After many unsuccessful attempts to secure a job, our fresh engineer continued to his telesales job to make ends meet. As God would have it this disappointment proved to be a blessing in disguise. Mohammed worked hard and had a limited social life. He told me that he didn’t know what nightlife looked like because he often used the weekend to work extra hours. As 2 years flew past he was surprised to learn that he had saved over €30k. It was time to evolve. He would quit the job and start a business. Fortunately, he partnered with 4 pals to start a carwash but unfortunately, that meant he had money to spare which he used to build a house back home in Somalia — a mistake as he later confessed. The carwash business did well but he realised that his income wasn’t steady. Some days he will go home with €200 and on rainy days he will close for the day without a dime. He wanted regular income as he now had a family. One day he was chatting with an elderly customer. Each month the man usually visits Portlaoise to spend time with his grandchildren. So he leaves his Jaguar S-Type at the carwash and Mohammed will walk him to the train station across the road. As they strolled along the following exchange ensued; “Sir, I want to be rich like you”, said Mohammed. “I’m not rich, I’m just a comfortable pensioner. It is people like you that get to be rich in this country”, the man replied. “Well, I find that hard to believe because I’m struggling to

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