Home Blog Our Husbands Died, Not Our Libido by Nneoma Wokemba.

Our Husbands Died, Not Our Libido by Nneoma Wokemba.



This is a reminder to those who have taken it upon themselves to police widows’ sexuality. Widows are women who were sexually active before celibacy was forced on them. Widows, like every one else think about sex and want to have sex. It is not a thing of shame. It is human. The only difference is that while the married ones can legally have it any time they want, widows don’t have that luxury. It is a struggle. Libidos differ in degree so the struggle is different for each person. Some don’t think about it much while others think about it all the time. Stop judging widows for being human.

If you are a widow who wants to be obedient to God and not have sex outside marriage, try these 3 tips:

1. Prayer. Yea good old fashioned prayer still works. However, it will not work if you are face to face with the object of your temptation. In that situation, your only option is to flee. If you stay there, you will go from praying for help to praying for forgiveness after the deed has been done. Your choice.

2. Channel that frustration into physical or mental activity. Very rigorous activity. Work out, deep clean your house, wash your car, go for a run, do some work. This is not the time to watch tv or ‘press your phone’. Your mind will drift back and you might stumble on content that will intensify the urge. Distract yourself with something that will exert your body and task your brain.

3. Work towards remarrying. These feelings will not go away so the sooner you satisfy them without a guilty conscience, the better. It will be easier to hold on if you know that you’re eventually going to get it. It’s all in the mind really. Be open to serious relationships that have the potential to lead to remarriage.

I hope this helps.
All the best.

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