The last man in the circle came in an hour late. His entrance was hailed by his other friends till they spotted his companion. “Guys, how far?”, Gbenro greeted as he took his seat and watched his companion sit too. Alade looked at his other friends, shook his head before muttering “Too far, Gbenro, too far”. Gbenro laughed out loud and wiggled his brows like he understood his friends. He went for an extra size this time. His laughter must have loosened Chris’ tongue. “But guy, this was not our agreement”, Chris said. “We had plans you have scattered”, he continued. Gbenro laughed once more, turned to his companion, and smiled at her while licking his lips. “He does not feel sorry for what he has done”, Alade concluded. “Exactly!”, the ever-quiet Eze screamed. Gbenro was done having this accusation on his head. “It has happened already, can we continue this hangout?”. “How? Guys, guys. You see why I do not like inviting Gbenro?”, Chris asked ensuring he looked at each pair of eyes ending at Gbenro’s. He wanted him to understand the gravity of his offense. “I do not see how we can continue if Gbenro does not apologize”, he continued. This time, everyone stared at Chris in confusion.
Gbenro began to stew in his seat. Chris had either lost his mind or came to this hangout drunk. “Apologize to who, Chris? Is there something you want to tell me?”, Gbenro asked squarely. “I think so, GB but before we continue, can we order the drinks? We are celebrating after all”, Eze said as he rubbed his hands in anticipation. He could not wait to have something cold trickling down his parched throat. Gbenro was not going to let his friends bury the hatchet yet. “Eze, tell me what he meant, then we order”, he said. “I do not know how you all want to drown in alcohol while we have a huge matter on our table”, Alade said dryly. Gbenro’s companion gasped and looked down at herself, Chris nodded in affirmation as he agreed with Alade while Eze who was about calling the waiter paused. “If you wanted to tackle the matter, you would have called GB yesterday”, Eze accused Alade. “Yesterday? What are you saying, guy? It would not have changed the fact that he did this”, Chris answered Eze. By this time, Gbenro’s companion stared angrily at the four men and slapped Gbenro’s hands away from her shoulders. Shameless men! Having the audacity to body-shame me. I am sure their wives are no prettier, she thought. Her actions turned the four pairs of eyes to her this time around.
“GB, acknowledge you are at fault and apologize. Simple!”, Alade advised. Gbenro tried to understand Alade’s words but they were simply causing a headache. “Apology cannot change the fact that we are just going to sit here all day achieving nothing”, Eze said. “Let us try our luck and order drinks first”, he continued. “Getting drunk will only cloud your mind for a time. I agree with Alade, Gbenro. Do the needful”, Chris supported. Gbenro’s companion laughed out loud finally. She now understood their goal. “Una no get money abi? Una no get money na why you never order pepper soup and drink. Four of you con dey use style waste my time for here”, she concluded. Gbenro sat up straight as a capable man. He was having none of the nonsense his friends brought up. “No, no, no. Baby, I have the money. My friends are just pulling your legs”, Gbenro said. Eze nodded in agreement. They all had the money but it would be of no use here. “We do, madam. Money no be our problem. However, money would not solve this problem. Am I right, guys?”, Eze asked as he looked around. “Correct, Eze”, Chris said. “Stop being stubborn, man”, he also said. Gbenro’s companion adjusted her seat and continued staring at the four broke men. She was ready to watch to the end.
“Can we end this already? I have plans tonight”, Gbenro said as he dared look at his companion. Alade tried to stifle his laughter as he looked at Gbenro. His friend was not going to have a home to stay in soon if he continued like this. “Nobody is disrupting your plans GB. Chris is simply helping your life”, Alade explained. “His life? It has not gotten to that extent now. All we are saying is that you should apologize to the owner and let us get this little party started”, Eze happily concluded. Gbenro was getting agitated and trying to get his friends to forget about everything. He did not want to end up without this lady tonight.
He drew close to the table and whispered to his friends, “I cannot apologize and send her away”.
Alade was having none of this anymore. “You cannot be serious. Why would you send her away? You are the one at fault now. GB, I cannot believe you”. “What should I do then? Should I leave with her?”, Gbenro asked. “And let us suffer the consequences on your behalf? Can you hear yourself? Gbenro!”, exclaimed Eze. Everyone turned to the ever calm Eze in surprise.
“There is no consequence, Eze. If he is being stubborn, let us go along with this hangout. Should I call the waiter?”, Chris asked everyone. “Let me see you try”, Eze replied. “And rain down problems on our heads? No o. I would not take a drop of drink till Gbenro acts like a man”, Alade said as he sat back in anticipation. “Am I not a man like this?”, Gbenro asked giving his companion a side hug which she tried shrugging off. “Capable man at that. Which is why we are still in trouble here”, Eze pointed out. “The pain of being Gbenro’s friend”, lamented Alade. “Now now, we have been his friends for years, I agree. Yet we cannot overlook this anymore. What if it is a near-death situation?”, Chris frankly said. “Near-death as in no place to sleep tonight”, agreed Alade. “Cell is the next option if we continue sitting down here”, Eze chipped in as he stared at the bar’s reception. Gbenro’s companion now looked at Gbenro like he was a hired assassin. She was already regretting staying this long.
“We thank God this is no near-death situation. So, GB, call her and apologize”, Alade returned to their earlier discussion. “Why would he call her? She is here now”, Eze said as he looked at the bar’s reception again. Gbenro began to wonder if his friends had not drank before his arrival an hour late. “Who is he calling?”, asked Chris in confusion. “The only person I have to apologize to right now is my baby girl here”, Gbenro concluded. He made up his mind to transfer double of what he promised to compensate her. Alade laughed at his friend. Gbenro still had more to learn in this life. “You are making a mistake, GB”, he added. “Yeah, you are and she is coming to get you-no-us”, Eze whispered, looking at the bar’s reception a third time. Gbenro’s companion could not hold it in any longer. “Na you be mistake. Broke men!”, she exclaimed as she extricated herself from Gbenro’s side, stood up, hissed, and left the table. The men watched her quietly before turning accusing eyes to Gbenro.
“See what you three have caused? Are we not supposed to be friends?”, accused Gbenro. “What are you talking about? Who was talking about her? What is my business if you bring a woman to drink?”, asked Alade. “Then who am I apologising to? You wanted me to apologize and send her away?”, Gbenro replied. “You obviously cannot send her away”, Eze commented. It was Chris’ turn to laugh. He could not believe his friends were talking about a woman. A woman indeed has the power to finish a man. He sure was not even interested in woman’s talk. “I was talking about us, your friends and not a woman”, Chris commented. “Na woman go finish you last last”, he continued. “Us? How do we enter this picture, Chris?”, Eze asked. Eze was sure they would sleep in the cell if the woman at the bar’s reception finally came to their table. “He came an hour late and should have apologized”, Chris answered. “Why are you confusing us? Who is talking about his lateness? I meant his wife! Gbenro offended his wife”, Alade explained. Gbenro’s guilty face said it all. “So that is why Eze said he would sleep in the cell? It has not gotten to that now. Apologize Gbenro, God bless you”, Chris said. “We would all sleep in the cell. Gbenro, tell them what you did”, Eze lamented. The woman was already approaching their table. She was sure angry. “What exactly again?”, asked Alade. “Yes, yes. Gbenro bashed the car of the owner of this bar and she is heading for us now”, Eze said. “It was a tiny scratch”, Gbenro said in defense. Unfortunately, that was the end of their hangout as she got to their table and sent them out. Gbenro forgot to add that he insulted her and almost ran her over that day. “Happy Birthday, Gbenro”, his friends muttered as each went their way home.
Translations
1. Una no get money abi? – You do not have money, right
2. Una no get money na why you never order pepper soup and drink – You do not have money that is why you have not ordered pepper soup and drink.
3. Four of you dey use style waste my time for here- Four of you are stylishly wasting my time
4. Money no be our problem – Money is not our problem
5. Na you be mistake – You are the mistake
About the Writer
Oluwaseun Osanyinro Author, content writer, MPH(Child and Adolescent Health), Jenuts Brainbox
