INTRODUCTION
Online dating has become a popular trend in society today, and this is a result of rapid social integration in the digital age. Some persons, on different occasions, have expressed various opinions on what they feel about online dating. For some, it is more of a positive gain while for others it is more of a negative gain. For the sake of those who do not have an idea of what online dating is about; it is a relationship arrangement with someone via the internet, especially with a person you get to know for the first time. Online dating is done either via online dating applications or social media platforms, which provides quick access to a wide reach of people globally. In the course of this writing piece, we will get to see some outcomes of experience on the part of online dating adherents. Then, from our cross-examination, we can either adjudge online dating higher on the positive scale or the negative scale.
WHAT IS THE VIEW OF RESEARCH?
The realities of online dating may not be the same for everyone. A good number of researches have been conducted to x-ray the hidden possibilities and potency of facts about online dating. A result from the conducted research done by Pew Research Center Study October 2019 revealed positive experiences from an estimate of 60 percent of participants. The use of online dating apps continues to gain momentum because it gives users an attractive mindset over the choice of compatibility in a relationship. On the online dating site, users can input their qualities and attributes, likes and dislikes with the hope of having a good match.
The true reality of online dating is that there is no absolute assurance of a positive outcome. Lisa Marie Bobby, Ph.D., experienced marriage and family therapist from her study deduced the reason for many negativities associated with online dating citing “Lack of shared community”. She further explained that online dating creates a world of convergence with people of unfamiliar backgrounds, who take steps to establish and maintain reasonable relationships void with realities of real-world encounters. This is what she categorized as the absence of shared communal experience.
MY HONEST OPINION
My honest opinion about online dating is that it limits physical interpersonal connectivity at the foundational level. The stress of establishing a meaningful date online without having a prior or occasional physical connection is considered immense. A relationship is mostly influenced by emotions, which activates deep affinity between the parties involved. The advent of digitalization has been misconstrued with the impression that emotions and closeness of people can fully be established over the internet compared to physical socialization. There is always a force that exists in the assembly of two or more persons especially when it is mutual. Without being insensitive to the bright side of online dating and how effective it has been for some people, I am of the view that the dangers involved are more than the benefit it offers. Online dating is a journey of certainty that does not give a guarantee on the positivity of the outcome.
The major dark sides of online dating are emotional deceit and financial fraud. This is most evident in the case where activities of some users on dating applications do not portray the originality of their identical characteristics. The hypocritical lifestyle of some people who utilize dating and social networking applications has made innocent folks fall victims to online fraud and blackmail. Ordinarily, the advent of online dating was borne out of the desire to provide various opportunities for people in search of an intimate relationship. To make available through the aid of technology various preferences of personalities which can facilitate compatibility of persons. However, this innovative goodness has been marred with the erroneous mindset on the part of myopic individuals.
THE REVIEW ON “TINDER SWINDLER”
In the popular movie “Tinder Swindler”, we see a true reality on the evils tagged with online dating. A popular socialist and celebrity Toke Makinwa had her share of experience in the course of her review on the movie. She on her part was able to play sensitively to the activities of the man in question, who in this case is the swindler. In her case, she was the lucky one due to her exposed background in similar experiences. Consequently, not everyone can be lucky enough to escape the dubious act of the so-called fraudsters on the online dating platform. Especially for those who do not have a good understanding of these dangers and how they are exploited on victims. In the movie “Tinder Swindler”, we can acknowledge the innocence of heart by the two major feminine victims, who sought genuine relationships via a well-known dating site called Tinder. Indeed, they were blind to the adverse reality one could experience using such a medium to find a matching union.
The documentary intends to create good awareness of the dark sides of online dating and also expose the presence of Simon Leviev (the Swindler figure) in most online dating sites. It reveals how they tend to get a false emotional attachment with those who seek relationship matching by sugar-coating lies. When the truth is revealed the aftermath is so unpleasant on the side of the victims. The experience of socialization is relative to an environmental factor. It is common for people to interact and make friends anywhere they go either for schooling, business, religious engagement, or adventure. Thus, anything of concern for a person including a relationship is mostly dependent on the familiar environment either visited or resident.
For instance, if I was born and raised in Lagos and I have visited Benin and Abuja only since I was born, it is highly possible to personally know people from these places only. Therefore, if I am to make friends and go into a serious relationship, it cannot be far from persons I have encountered in these places. Here, I have good knowledge of the nature of persons I interact with even while we continue our familiarity online. So when I get to meet an old-time friend either on social media or an online dating site, it will be convenient for us to easily get along even when it does not lead to an intimate relationship. The key point here is the physical familiarity which is fundamental to building social and emotional confidence. Online dating is like hooking up with someone (stranger) out of the blues to establish a meaningful relationship.
EMPHASIS ON THE NEGATIVITY OF ONLINE DATING
It is pertinent for us to know that the effect of negative aspects in online dating is not gender-sensitive. It can be experienced by either the female or male gender. However, the point of concern on the side of the female gender is more pronounced. Some women are swindlers too looking for men to deceive on dating sites online. All they do is to make those who hook up with them their cash-out money bag. Apart from financial fraud, another major disadvantage of online dating is emotional heartbreak caused by personality based on falsehood.
From research, it is observed that some people move from online dating straight into marriage. This occurs when both parties involved accept the compatibility ratio of themselves. Sometimes, we discover that after a long journey into marital life, the true lifestyle and characteristics of one of the partners become evident. Then, it becomes difficult to manage or pull out because they have gone far in the union. We see how some men present themselves to be gentle when relating with the female folks online but in real-time have the tendency to mastermind domestic violence. For some, they present themselves as loving and caring only after getting into marital union or courtship do they project their true self characterized with infidelity. All these contribute to emotional heartbreak.
GAINED LESSON FROM “TINDER SWINDLER”
In the movie “Tinder Swindler”, we could sense the emotional trauma vested on the two major feminine victims due to the inactions of Simon Leviev (the Swindler figure). Now, they discovered later, what they looked for on the online dating site was not a true representation of truth and it was sad to see they lost so much to realize the hidden fact. For those who are adherents of online line dating, the “Tinder Swindler” movie should be a good opportunity to get proper orientation and enlightenment on the negative tendencies in using such medium to establish a meaningful relationship that may even lead to marriage.
REFERENCE
[1] Does Online Dating Workhttps://www.brides.com/does-online-dating-work-511203 <<Accessed 22nd February, 2022>>>
About the Writer
Victor Okonjo is a student of Computer Engineering, Federal University of Technology Akure. He has a keen drive in the creative expression of thought and ideas through the Pen. He can be reached at okonjovico@gmail.com
