Lessons From the Tinder Swindler by Ojetunde Esther

 

The Netflix documentary; is a story of a man called Simon Leviev impersonating to be the son of an Israeli billionaire, Lev Leviev, also known as “King of Diamonds” for his company LLD Diamonds. He cons unsuspecting ladies by claiming to be the heir to his father’s conglomerate and the luxurious lifestyle he flaunts on his tinder account on his private jet, his yacht, wearing designer clothes and watches.

There are a few things I want to point out as red flags that gave this man away;

1. His claim of having to party to maintain the business.

2. He was too good to be true.

3. His Tinder account was linked to his Instagram account, so if he was a businessman as he claimed, why was he not keeping a low profile?

4. If he is as rich as he claims when he was in debt can he not sell one of his cars or watches to clear his debt or ask for his father for a loan, why his girlfriend?

5. His tinder account was still active, why did he not disable it after claiming he loves each of those ladies with all of his heart.

6. He does not want his account to be tracked; that screams SCAM.

7. His enemies after him, this is the most ridiculous one, as a billionaire heir is there not supposed to be a provision of some level of security.

Now bringing these points into a Nigerian setting, many ladies have a world of fantasy in their head of how their ideal man should be and above all things, he is to be rich. So it is easier for a lady to swipe to a man on tinder that has a level of success. After all, success has more friends than failure, then they fall into the trap. This is not to negate the fact that money is good or we should have high expectations but we need to rest a bit as ladies and do our due diligence investigation before we engage on online dates.

Normally as adults, we should know the difference between dreams and reality. Real-life is not so smooth, for the rich and the poor. Things do not just happen as we see them in Nollywood movies. In as much as we can not tell our hearts who to love, we should also use our heads to think.

It is a known fact that most business people keep their lives privates low, not to talk of the level of a billionaire heir. It screams tackiness and being fake to see a person on designers all through; Gucci clothes, Louis Vuitton shoes and Rolex watch, and so on. It screams wannabe (portraying what someone is not worth). In Nigeria, this is a turn-on for most ladies, once they see guys dressed like this they are like, wow! This guy can afford me compared to a guy just dressed simply. Apart from the online dating platforms, on other social media handles like Instagram, they reply to direct messages of guys with the money; exposing them to danger.

Rich people remain rich because of the level of financial education they have or are believed to have. Nigerian ladies will swoon and even share guys that are linked to influential people or have the cash to throw around. There was a joke going around at a time that no lady is more faithful than a lady dating a Yahoo boy. They would defend him for all that is what.

Most wealthy people have things that they can liquidate in case of debt or other issues and looking at the luxurious lifestyle he is portraying why is he still asking for money? He is wearing money already!

As much as many ladies in Nigeria will claim not to fall for this, it can happen, because a guy comes and he has everything working in his favor and he has spent so much on you. He is so sweet to you, he gives you so much attention, affection, and validation, it looks like you have known each other throughout your lives, not like your broke boyfriend that does not even understand you so much. This sweet guy suddenly asks for money as a loan, promising to pay back, surely it will work.

This should also teach ladies to be sensitive, in some cases some ladies would even make stands that if the man does not put a ring on their finger, they are not going to help out. There are cases of men that will put rings on your fingers and con you till you become Lord of the rings and then your eyes become clear.

Apart from the listed points, you should know something is wrong when he still has his tinder account active, after all, what is the purpose of the app, to get a date right? So after finding you attractive after the first date and he seems to love you so much and desires you so much, is he not supposed to disable the account?

One thing ladies makes mistake doing is making excuses for their man, most especially in Nigeria, even in severe cases like domestic violence. The woman keeps defending him by claiming she is in love. Is love not meant to be a give and take? Then he should take responsibility, and both parties need to discuss this at the beginning of the supposed ‘relationship’ instead of taking pictures and the mushy love stuff. Start by talking things out if cheating is a deal-breaker for you or not, and other stuff. To a level, it will help project what will happen in the course of the relationship.

The issue of his credit cards being tracked should raise an eyebrow. For your account details to be tracked for something it means you got involved with something you should not have. Bringing it to Nigeria, you should not be scared when the EFCC(Economic and Financial Crimes Commission) comes to check your account or your house if you do not have anything to hide. This is why building a good relationship is important even if you met on an online dating app. You need to ask questions before you start dishing out money. No matter how painted the scenario can be get your facts right first. As ladies our guts feeling does not fail us, what does your mind tell you about this thing you want to do.

 

Then, the issue of security. No man wants to die, the poor do not, talk more of a rich young heir to a company worth billions.

Why would he want to compromise his life by not having security?

Even in case of danger, should he not keep his location secret? and how does the money come into play in securing him?

There is also the place of taking things a step at a time in a relationship. You meet a guy online then he gets so into you and then you meet. The second date he is taking you to Sheraton, Radisson Blu Anchorage Hotel in Lagos or Transcorp Hilton in Abuja, or you decide to fly a private jet to Miami or all those nice places around the world. As ladies we should sit and think what did I do to this man, did I render any service or am I an ambassador for something, those things should unnerve us. It should not just make us happy nor are they things we should boast about to our friends. We should even be scared: what if this guy is a ritualist or human trafficking or something. Even in Freetown things are not free. As ladies, we need to wise up!

Then, things online are like car mirrors; these things are not as close as they appear. People post the fun and good parts of their lives online. Other people post their fake lives online and some people make money online. So online dating is not for the faint heart hearted. The devil we see is better than the angel we have not seen. If you know you would not have enough time to investigate and use your brain or you are extremely emotional, it is best to avoid the online dating site. Prevention they say is better than cure.

In conclusion of the whole matter, the tinder swindler cannot con every lady and he did not except for some certain kind of ladies. It is therefore important that as ladies we should have depth and not be superficial, this would prevent a lot of scam zone. Then we should be hard on our work so we do not look up to a man for financial freedom.

 

About the Writer

Ojetunde Esther 

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