Home Essays For better for worse by Collins Chibuike

For better for worse by Collins Chibuike

“For better for worse.” I personally never liked that phrase. I have attended a handful of weddings and whenever the couple make vows and use that phrase, I usually feel dispirited; not entirely though.
I find the phrase rather awkward, not necessarily because of it’s implied meaning, but the literal interpretation the society gives it.
Whenever a Christian hears ‘For better for worse’, he just casually interprets it as ‘Regardless of any situation’. It’s just a thing that have gotten into our psych and beliefs as a people.
The implied meanings are clear enough, It just highlights the faithfulness and steadfastness that should exist among couples. It simply implies the virtue of being there for each other in times of joy and conversely, when sorrow knocks.
Big question now should be, Is that really what practical Christianity interprets it to mean?
It’s Crystal clear, NO.
No, in the sense that the society are yet to decipher the disparity between “For better for worse” and “In all situations”, within the marital context. That’s basically the bedrock of all latent domestic abuses.
Maybe it’s just a Christian thing?
Well, No!
I did my findings and the results were rather similar. The question was to describe what marriage is and entails. The traditionalist described marriage as a sacred institution; as a non refundable parcel, which when one opens, takes whatever he finds inside without questions or hesitations.
A couple of researches here and there and I arrived at my conclusion. It’s a thing with Religion in general.
All Faiths and religious denominations seem to have this unified point of view. Understanding marriage as a sacred union which can not be broken under any circumstance. That’s the common belief.
 A clergy would conventionally advise a believer who laid complaints of domestic abuses to just pray over it and keep holding on.
You almost never sees or hear them endorse leaving the marriage, regardless. This ideology is shared by basically all religious communities and eventually, the society at large.
So, you just sit in and endure, remember your vow says ‘For better for worse’. You just deal with the ‘Worse’.
That’s how people end up in marriages where they are constantly abused either physically, psychologically, emotionally and otherwise; and all they can do is just ENDURE. The society will devour you once you  nurse the slightest thought of leaving the marriage. Just like a one way thing, once In, no outs.
Your odds are pretty tight. An abusive marriage or an abusive religious society?
Unfortunately majority go with the former, suffer silently and die unnoticed. All because we are in an era where marriage is considered sacred and divorce a potential sin.
This is the mindset religion has instilled in the society. Once you are in an abusive home, you just pray and ENDURE, maybe until it gets really detrimental to your health and you reach an abrupt end. No one will ever know what you were dealing with.
For better for Worse you say? Well, when the worse is about bringing your end, pick the ‘better’ and leave.
A matter that needs critical attention. Religion should never be the reason why anyone should stay in an abusive marriage.
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