license

Blog, Diaspora Diary., Reverie

Diaspora Diary: Prioritise A Driver’s License Over Western Union.

I haven’t jogged for some time. I‘ve just been doing short 2–3km walks on the banks the river Lee instead of the usual hour-long jogging. To get back to routine, I decided to jog for two hours this morning. The exercise took me through a route which was a favourite for driving schools and I was reminded of the frustrating days I passed through to get my driving license. It seems a long time now but the memory still lives vividly with me today. I will narrate my story and the importance of a driver’s license to inform the newbies and potential migrants to the western world. I had been driving for three decades before relocating to Ireland. I had also been driving for ages across the western world during vacations and visits. Most car rental companies will usually accept your Nigerian driving license and International driving permit so long as you have a credit card to hold down the required deposit. However, it becomes a different ball game when your status changes to “resident”. Regardless of your driving experience, you are required to go through the full driver licensing procedure if your nationality falls outside the ‘mutual recognition’ agreement category. You must first pass a driver theory test, get a learner permit, complete a course of Essential Driver Training(EDT) and pass your driving test before you can legally drive here. Notwithstanding that the EDT is 12 one-hour sessions of driving lessons you still have to drive with a fully licensed driver whenever you mount the wheels with your learner permit. Crazy right? Well, I didn’t think it was much of a problem considering my wealth of experience in driving. My missus fondly hails me “formula 1” each time I do my signature reverse parking very close to the kerb. As a matter of fact, I have never been involved in a crash while driving. The most have been a bump or a scratch on the side with danfo drivers usually the culprits. In any case, I passed the theory test without failing a question. It was easy because I had done a similar one while living in the UK some years back. The only reason I didn’t get a full UK driving license back then which would have saved me the stress here was because I moved back to Nigeria. I just keep moving! I was issued with a learner permit and I started the driving lessons thereafter. Believing it will be a formality I didn’t take it seriously. My only headache then was the bill. The €30/lesson summed up to €360. And then I had to hire a manual transmission car @€150 for the test, plus another €85 test fee. Adding all these up didn’t amuse me when I figured the naira equivalent. All the same, I finished after a boring 9-month period repeatedly interrupted by travels to Nigeria after which I often forgot where I left off. The first sign of trouble I got was when I requested to hire my driving instructor’s car for the test. His response was that I wasn’t ready yet. Goodness me! This oyibo was trying to extort me for further lessons after I had done the requisite minimum of 12. I laughed and bade him “au revoir”, after all, there are countless driving test car hire services out there. On the day of the test, I was brimming with confidence which would be deflated 10 minutes into the test proper. I had made several mistakes and by the time we returned to the test centre I knew I had failed. You are given feedback immediately on a sheet of paper to help you improve on the areas you were found wanting. My commonest mistake was ‘coasting’. It simply means driving with your clutch pedal down. Easy to shake that off one would think. But not so my dear, old habits die hard. I can bet 99% of Nigerian drivers coast and will fail their 1st driving test here. My friend in Dublin failed thrice, his wife 5x and another one I spoke to recently said he cannot count the number of times he has failed. These are all folks with decades of driving experience back home. My second test was even worse. I was so livid with myself that the car hire guy — bless him — refunded my money out of pity. I was to pass the third time but not without a stroke of good fortune. It came through an Albanian van driver whom I hired for removals. In the midst of haggling, I told him I could hire a van and do the job myself for half the cost. “So why did you call me? Do you love wasting money?” He had asked sarcastically. We both laughed heartily when I narrated about my driving test ordeal. He said, “so today, you pay me and after I give you good driving teacher, my brother has the best driving school in Cork”. He recommended his brother who owns Neptune Driving school when I revealed during our chat that I was still using a learner permit. During the pre-test rehearsal, the guy just asked me a few questions and concluded that my problem was overconfidence. He told me that besides coasting I needed to drive like a ‘confident’ rookie for the 20–30 minutes my test would last. So we spent the first half-hour dealing with coasting and the next learning how to drive like a rookie, both hands on the wheel, 10 to 2 position and all the boring details. But you must get them right for the test duration. I passed easily. The test didn’t even last 15 minutes and the tester was satisfied with my driving. It has been a huge relief ever since and besides the countless benefits of a full driving license, I believe it is advisable especially for immigrants to prioritise getting this all-important document. For instance in the US where some states issue driver’s licenses to undocumented immigrants

Blog, Essays, Monishots

Should Folorunsho Alakija be a role model?

  Success is where preparation and opportunity meet ~ Bobby Unser Nigeria is an interesting country, a very interesting one at that. We are a people blessed with so much talent and so many resources yet we continue to languish in the bottom ladder of critical developmental indices. One remarkable thing about Nigerians is the pattern of daily discourse around the socio-political issues on our various social media platforms. Who doesn’t have a thing or two to say? From the high to the low, we all seem to be opinionated, having an answer or a solution to every issue whether or not it is our area of knowledge let alone expertise. And this is especially manifest on social media. Someone said of Nigeria that while the intellectuals are running the government on social media the mediocre ones are on the ground doing same in practice. It happened that Folorunsho Alakija who of course needs no introduction as the richest Nigerian woman or is it, African woman, (I can’t be too sure now) used her Twitter handle to share her story of ‘faith’ perhaps to encourage and inspire the young entrepreneurs out there but ended up being bashed and insulted by some of those she was trying to inspire. So I just decided to do a little research on the Alakija story and present a brief media report. A cursory look at some of the obvious lies and likely truths. She has been labelled IBB’s housemaid or errand girl. She was not. Those who know her family way back in Lagos Island attest to the fact that though she came from a large polygamous family and that her background cannot in any way be described as poor. So she was nobody’s maid or errand girl. She was never a hairdresser as many have also erroneously tagged her, but rather from available records she started out as a secretary at Sijuade Enterprises and moved to the International Merchant Bank before she eventually left and started her Rose of Sharon Fashion House and Digital Reality Prints later. Some have called her Maryam Babangida’s ‘tailor’. Again the truth is that much as Maryam Babangida was among her A-list clientele the lady was no roadside tailor. As a matter of fact, she studied fashion and design in the UK and already had a budding outfit in Surulere, Lagos before she met IBB’s wife. Now having stated the foregoing it is worthy of mention that some of the narratives in her numerous interviews are likely sugar-coated in the usual manner associated with many success stories. For instance, I don’t believe she was ‘advised’ to venture into oil exploration by the then minister of petroleum Jubril Aminu after failed attempts to partner with the NNPC in other areas. Truth be told, any discerning Nigerian knows that many of our oil blocs are often held in ‘trust’ by proxies of the ruling elite who have cornered that vital resource since the end of the civil war. It also sounds incredible that ‘nobody’ wanted the oil bloc allocated to her as she has claimed severally. I bet some of you equally had a good laugh reading that fib. I can list a million and one things we all loathe about our country but it does not in any way include an oil license because much as exploration is an expensive venture with no guarantee of success we still have foreign giants partnering with NNPC to scrape for the black gold in the arid Lake Chad region. So no matter how far or deep into the Atlantic the bloc may be there is likely to be at least one firm out there willing to give it a shot. However, you still have to give Madam Alakija a lot of credit because oil exploration is not bread and butter. Much as she may have gotten her license through nepotism she still had to go through the tortuous process of licensing, acquisition and prospecting. And perhaps most importantly, Famfa oil smartly got capable partners in Star Deep Water Petroleum Ltd, a subsidiary of Texaco. Not a few have failed in this aspect because the government can still revoke your license for many reasons even after you might have invested millions of dollars. You can also read a recent article in which Paddy Adenuga shared his experience about a near-hit venture that almost landed Chevron Netherlands on his lap. In that piece, he confessed his love for the oil business and stated that: “the exploration and production (upstream) side, was the mixture of strategy, operational capability, technical know-how, politics and business acumen which all had to be married with a gambling spirit and sheer luck to be successful” He then went ahead and detailed how ego and advice from inexperienced partners cost him a deal that would have probably surpassed his father’s exploits in the years to come. Let’s not forget that when Madam Alakija did strike gold, her license was snatched by the almighty OBJ, it took several years of litigation processes up to the apex court to get it back. A fact which Obasanjo doesn’t deny but rather flimsily claimed to have made her a billionaire. So Alakija’s success story did not start in the oil industry, it started from her days as a secretary and spanned through her venture into fashion, printing and oil industries. It takes some hard work to rise from a secretarial position to the head of corporate affairs department in a bank. I have an aunt that rose to a similar height in a manufacturing firm. She is now happily retired and lives on her own property in Lagos where she tends to her grandkids and flowers. We often find it easy to sit behind a screen and cast aspersions at achievers who have been through many ups and downs to get to the top. There is an age-old saying that if you cannot manage one kobo you definitely cannot manage one billion naira. So

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