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Invasion by Kenneth Nwabuisi

The armed robbers climbed through the high fence of No. 50 Ziks Avenue and jumped inside its premises. Musa, a long-nosed Hausa gateman, wasn’t at the gate. He had travelled last week to cast his vote, Hausa chaps liked travelling on time during election periods. Only the Igbo’s in Hausa land stayed, slept, woke up, pitched high tents and often ended up killed. The compound was calm save for a dog on a leash barking, stretching its jaw wide. Scorpion, Jericho and Spider were the three able-bodied, but hungry youths from the slums who had gotten information that the owner of the house, Chief Izegbe, had made a huge withdrawal of countless Naira notes at the bank earlier the day, despite the scarcity of cash that had ridden the economy for two weeks. Chief Izegbe, a man with a bushy moustache and scanty eyebrows, was one of the wealthy businessmen in Enugu metropolis. His wealth spoke for him. And he wasn’t one of those rich men who got their monies in an illegal manner. He toiled and hustled for his cash since his youth. His long years of importing electronic goods and countless consignments from China into the country were paying him off. In fact, his daughter, Mirabel, would always call him a business tycoon. Chief Izegbe had a distended stomach. He walked like one who was pregnant. His late wife, Rebeca had often teased him, when she was heavy with Mirabel’s pregnancy, saying that the nurses at the hospital might be confused on who was due for delivery between her and Chief. Because Chief’s large stomach could be compared to hers. The armed robbers shuffled their feet to the entrance door, the crickets chirping as if they were in a nocturnal contest. Scorpion, tall and with the face of a horse, pulled his mask firm on his face. Jericho the one with slender fingers like toothpicks, tightened his hand gloves, stretching it so his fingers looked like chopsticks. Spider, short and tepid, was running around like a cockroach, surveying the crew, making sure their guns and every other thing were intact. The plan was to go in, extort the money from Chief and scram. Boom! Boom!! The knock on the door sounded. Chief, who was sitting on the sofa in his agbada, flipping through the pages of his favourite newspapers: the daily sun, called on Chioma, the plump chef, who was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Soon, the dark-skinned chef showed up by the door. The eyes of the guns the robbers held gazing at her. Frightened, she shrieked, “Chim ooo.” She shouted, bending on the floor. Chief stood up, the guns pointed at him too. “Shhhhhhh. Lie down!” Scorpion ordered. Chief’s stomach was plastered on the floor as if he was sailing on cold water. Jericho stamped his foot on his back and he huffed. “We come in peace. We no go hurt any of you if una comply. Wey the money?” Spider’s voice melted into Chief’s ears. “Which money?” Chief said. “You dey ask me which money? You want make I waste your life?” Jericho threatened. “No, no,” Chief replied, shivering. “I’ll give you anything you want.” “Oya na, tell us where the money dey make we begin dey go.” Jericho lit a cigarette, each of the crew came forward to light their sticks. Jericho takes a whiff before he continued. “You know say town don red like this. The boys need to feel all right. POS dey collect 3k charge to withdraw 10k. Filling stations dey sell half liter fuel for the money wey suppose buy full liter. Wetin boys wan do? Boys gatz survive, shey you understand. Abi no be so?” Chioma was lying silent beside Chief. Jericho moved his leg on Chief’s body and Chief was roused. His brains seemed to have gone on an exile. “I say no be so?” Jericho repeated. “Na so, na so.” Chief said without bating an eyelid. A figure swished on the staircase. Spider was the first to notice. “Who be dat?” Spider asked. “Una get any other person with una for this house?” Scorpion asked, pointing his chopstick fingers at Chioma and Chief. “Ye—ess, Yes.” Chioma replied in quivering lips. “Who be that?!” Jericho’s voice rose. It didn’t sound twice before Mirabel came to the staircase, a piece of cloth tied around her face. It was her mother’s hair-tie, the one she wore the night she died during childbirth. “I’m the one.” Mirabel glided down the staircase, her legs moving slowly like a cat. “And who are you?” Spider asked, walking close to her. Mirabel was a smart kid. In her results in school, her teachers would always comment that she was as shrewd as a serpent, yet as slow as a cat. She knew exactly how to meander her way through thick and thin, how to push and pull her way out during difficult situations. Mirabel had once left her class boy in an unfathomable maze. One morning, the boy had stolen her pen. Since stealing was a law against the school, the proprietor sounded a note of warning to everyone, more directly to the boy in Mirabel’s class, who Mirabel had somehow found out had stolen her pen. After the warning, the boy didn’t budge. He was being hideous about the pen. The proprietor granted a search warrant to all teachers if the thief did not deliver the pen after school. The morning of the next day when the search was to commence, Mirabel endeavoured to come to class early. She sat bending her head on the desk, surveying the whole class through her eyes, waiting for her class members to arrive. The boy entered and saw the class was empty except for a class girl who was bending her head on the desk and, he thought she wasn’t watching, she could be dozing off or something. He stealthily withdrew Mirabel’s pen from his bag and stuck it inside a hole on the wall

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A February In Crisis by Chukwuemeka Oluka

February is the month of love, and it is in crisis in Nigeria. Do Nigerians still know what love is all about? Many didn’t even realize the Valentine’s season tiptoed away from them unnoticed. Some would say love is bright; but today, love wears a dim and dull colour in Nigeria. Yes, the naira scarcity and the hike in fuel prices have painted love dark in the hearts of many. Nigerians seemingly did not know what it means to love or to be loved either. The phasing out of some naira notes took effect after January 2023 and the unfortunate economic crises it brought were situated in February — the season of love. Money became scarce. How do you even love when there is no money? So, it was pretty interesting to see how Nigerians expressed their love in the period. How the petrol and naira hardships altered the dynamics remained a wonder anyone would be in a hurry to know. Just like in the iambic pentameter of a typical Shakespearean sonnet, my feeble mind wobbled between bouts of rhythmic uncertainties. I brushed aside these uncertainties that hung lazily in the atmosphere like the harmattan haze. I was determined to begin preparations on time just so I could give my love a valentine’s treat that would live rent-free in the mind. Yes, the valentine’s season was gently creeping in. Banks had started sending me Valentine’s Day texts but wouldn’t give me my money. Yet as the crises generated by the naira redesign policy and fuel price hike deepened, my relationship with her was threatened. Communication between us gradually saw a decline. While I struggled to survive, I was ready to go against the odds to express love. The countdown moved from weeks to days. The love season should never happen to me out of the blue. So, discarding any negativity, I planned to defy the odds to visit the commercial bank in my area. I had heard unfortunate stories linked with the naira scarcity and customers’ experiences with their banks. But I needed money, so, I was to make a cash withdrawal at the automated teller machine (ATM). I knew the naira had morphed into a crunch state, but I was optimistic I would find the naira. When I got into the premises of the bank, I was greeted with a long queue. Everyone looked stressed and tired. Pockets of people were seen discussing as they waited for their turn to either gain access to the banking hall or make a withdrawal at the ATM. Some were on the premises as early as 5:30 am. By merely sweeping my eyes across their faces, I could read their body language. Frustration! Bank customers have stood for hours waiting for one transaction or the other. I learnt the queue had grown long enough before the ATM was eventually pampered to begin dispensing bank notes. I joined the queue notwithstanding. No sooner had I dissolved into the queue than a young lady walked up to me and asked how much I wanted to withdraw. At first, I didn’t give her a face. My mind sprawled through many spaces, racing through distances as I was lost in thought on the tragedies and pain the redesign of the naira notes has brought upon Nigerians. I was doing a mental calculation on how far a daily cash withdrawal limit of N20,000 would go. I needed to fuel my car, pay for some utilities, feed myself and have some reserved in preparation for Valentine’s Day celebration. According to some financial experts, the redesign of the naira notes was a policy by the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to frustrate moneybag politicians who were set to buy votes in the coming elections. Others maintained it was to compel the Nigerian public into cashless transactions. But whether the country’s hugely informal economy will survive the cashless policy remains a topic for another day. Still standing in the queue, I didn’t give the lady any attention at all, not until she said, ‘I over withdrew money and I’m looking for someone to help with some cash in exchange for a mobile money transfer. I was supposed to withdraw N2,000 but I mistakenly punched N20,000 on the ATM button’ She would give me N18, 000 cash and I would transfer the amount to her account. I was shocked! I never knew miracles do happen. Without blinking an eyelid, I obliged her immediately and she handed me eighteen pieces of the newly redesigned N1000 bank notes. I took a dash immediately to the petrol station to fuel my car. I jettisoned other petrol stations for MMPC. They were selling at a far cheaper rate and the possibility of altering their metering unit was minimal. However, the opportunity cost there was a long vehicular queue. It was the weekend. This meant I had no official schedule, no appointments and no assignments of any sort. I had been condemned to spending my day chasing the scarce naira and exorbitant fuel. So, I had no option but to join the queue. Vehicles were moving languidly at a pace slower than a snail’s, with the queue stretching into the adjourning street. I wore patience like ‘agbada’ while I waited for my turn. Black market sellers had a queue as well for their gallons. Little wonder vehicles moved at such a pace. Finally, it reached my turn and the petrol nozzle was thrust into my car. I requested N10,000 worth of fuel and then flashed the attendant ten clean pieces of the newly redesigned N1000 bank note. I had started the ignition of my car when I was called out. My car tyre was clamped down immediately. What was my offence? I paid with fake naira notes. ‘How can…?’ I was ready to throw punches not until the station manager made me realize that all ten pieces of the naira notes I handed to the attendant had the same serial number. I froze! It happened at the banking

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