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Blog, Diaspora Diary., Reverie

Diaspora Diary: Doings In Mbiri, Echoes In Cork.

I know he wouldn’t want this but I just couldn’t help it. I had to blog this one for posterity. Like the Biblical instruction, my friend is a man who would rather conceal the doings of his right hand from his left hand, but here I am, about to blow his trumpet and loudly too. My cab was already waiting while I was still heating water for my usual morning coffee when I glanced at the kitchen clock and saw it was 6.58 am. Damn! I had a 9.20 am flight to catch and in this pandemic era, you had better be at the airport at least 2 hours before your scheduled departure. So I ditched the coffee and rushed out to the cab. The tall elderly African man behind the wheel said hi as I settled into the front seat of the Mondeo. “Good morning sir”, I replied in the normal Nigerian way of greeting. I have never been a fan of that dry hi, hello greeting. He smiled back, a dry smile so to say. Just as I was thinking that there won’t be much to gist about with this one the name on the dashboard caught my attention. He is a Nigerian and an Igbo man for that matter. Nice! I am not one to shy away from starting a conversation and I always derive joy in chatting with a cabby, more especially when he is my “countryman”. So I hit this one up right away. “My name is Cmoni, Chinemelu for long and I’m Igbo too”, I said. “Yea, I guessed” he replied rather incuriously. A chatty driver would have asked where I was headed just to keep the convo going even though he would have been informed by the app but not this one. “I have a friend with the same surname as yours”, I said not giving up, “are you from Okija?”. “No, I’m from Delta”, he replied. “Yea, yea we are all the same, Ndigbo, we are everywhere innit?”, I said trying to liven up the discussion. “Of course we are”, he replied., “I’m from Mbiri and we trace our origin to Mbieri in Imo state, or so I heard but even if it’s debatable the similarity in both names is striking”. “Well, I‘ve read a few texts on the ancestry of the Ika people with some accounts linking them to Benin heritage and so on. But language is a great pointer to the origin of a people and the fact that they speak Igbo is enough said for me. Now speaking about Mbiri, I told him that I have a friend from there named Tony Alika-Igwebuike. His face suddenly lit up. The pale, drawn expression changed to a wide smile as he almost shrieked. “Wow!, so you know my brother?”. “You bet I do”, I replied, feeling more at ease now with the man. “That’s a brother to be proud of”, he said nodding with delight. “a great Mbiri son in whom we are well pleased”, he concluded. I told him that Tony is very proud of his hometown and even owns a farm there. “Is it only that?”, he asked, “the young man is involved in almost everything about the progress of Mbiri”. When I reminded him that Tony isn’t a young man because he graduated from Unizik over 20 years ago, he replied that he was already in his forties back then and so he could refer to Tony as a young man since they are not mates. I agreed with a “sorry sir”. He then reeled out a lengthy list of what Tony is doing for his people. From being the president of one Mbiri association (sorry I’ve forgotten the name now) to helping the youths gain admission, employment, and empowerment. He said my friend is currently leading the drive to raise funds from wealthy Mbiri sons for the rehabilitation of a dilapidated hospital in the town. He could have gone on and on but the ride to Cork Airport was just over 15 minutes that early morning. So when I stopped, he finally asked where I was headed and I told him I was going on a business trip to Naples. He shook his head and wished me luck saying that he gave up after failed attempts to set up some businesses back home. Some day we will discuss how Nigerians at home ruin the hopes of our ‘country people’ in the diaspora but that’s a story for another day. We bade each other farewell and I sauntered into the airport. So you see, we can all emulate Obi Cubana in our own little way by supporting our communities. You don’t have to be a millionaire to help your kinsman, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. As they say, nothing is too small for Imo airport because anyhow is a how! I was proud of this echo of my friend’s Mbiri ‘doings’ in faraway Cork. I boarded my flight feeling inspired and determined to do more for Amawbia. And as we were about to take off I bent my head in prayer to commit the flight to God as usual but this time I also asked Him to bless Tony.

Blog, Creative Essays

A ‘Dorime’ Burial Ceremony by Chukwuemeka Oluka.

Whilst the Undertaker’s WWE theme song and the UEFA champions league anthem were known to mesmerize club scenes and bars in Nigeria, none quite had the enigmatic ability to raise goosebumps amongst clubbers than Eric Levi’s song, ‘Ameno Dorime.’ The compelling effect of ‘dorime’ on its listeners makes them spend more of their money, buying the most expensive drinks available, especially when played during a celebratory spree. The word, ‘dorime’ would go on to tickle the fancy of Nigerians as it is now used as an adjective to idolize glamour, luxury, and high spending. And really, these are the right words, to describe what happened on 16th July 2021 in Oba, Anambra state. It was indeed a ‘dorime’ burial ceremony. Call it a big Netflix movie or a premium box office, the fact remains that the just concluded funeral in Afor Uzo, Oba, in Idemili South LGA of Anambra state had everything expected from the yearnings for wealth, money power, and relevance in Igbo land. From the assemblages of the crème de la crème of the showbiz industry, to the markings of moneybags who share 7 to 12 digits account balances; from the roll call of strong men, to the battle cry of strong brotherhoods from the geopolitical compasses of the ‘Dot-Nation;’ all roads led to Oba, and you cannot but agree that the funeral of late Uche Iyiegbu, mother to Obinna Iyiegbu a business mogul, popularly known as Obi Cubana lived up to its billings. Obi Cubana is a Nigerian business magnate, entertainer, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and show killer. He is the chairman and owner of ‘Cubana Group,’ an empire name for top clubs, entertainment and hospitality outlets in Nigeria. The funeral of his late mum became the talk of the town. There was a lot of buzz about his hometown, Oba, not just because of the funeral but because of how he brought attention to the town. This was because he received no fewer than 246 cows from his friends and business associates for his late mother’s funeral during the weekend. One of them, a celebrity barman, Cubana Chief Priest whom it was gathered was picked up and groomed by Obi Cubana gifted his boss a trailer load of 46 cows. Over N257million was reportedly raised by the same friends to support the funeral. To them, it was a harvest of goodwill and a repayment of debt of gratitude to Obi Cubana whom it is reported, invested in and contributed to their growth. Call it the Igbo apprenticeship system if you like, but the fact remains that his wealth was said to be pretty transformational. The funeral shut (or shot) down the Nigerian internet broadband space as those who didn’t attend, fed their eyes to stupor with their mobile data. As expected, a lot of reactions and talking points were generated on social media, most of whom have condemned the ostentations and intimidating display of money seen in the spraying of bundles of naira notes. Some Nigerians saw it as waste, show off and needless display of affluence especially by Ndi-Igbo. But was the ‘Oba burial’ a waste of money? Was the ethnic profiling necessary? The truth remains that everyone is entitled to their opinion. But to Obi Cubana, the lavish fanfare that greeted his late mother’s burial may not be a show-off; it was to promote his business brand which is built around luxury, showbiz and entertainment. People go to his clubs and buy drinks worth millions of Naira to show off, relax and enjoy. His business associates are men of luxurious lifestyle and these were the caliber of people that graced his late mother’s funeral. That said, if your business is built on ‘dorime,’ your customers and associates will be people of ‘dorime!’ Also, the funeral provided the opportunity for some of these men to show to the world that they are not only rich, but that they largely run the showbiz industry. To those who think that the Igbo domination of showbiz ended with the era of CD plates in Alaba International market, they may just have a rethink. The fact remains that they are the major shareholders and they run arguably the largest labels of major entertainment and showbiz outfits around the country. While you think the funeral was a waste of money, Obi Cubana himself hit arguably 1 million followers on Instagram on the night. The search level of Obi Cubana on Google was on a stupendous level. The implication is that his Pablo nightclub in Lagos and other Cubana outlets around the globe will get more clientele. This can provide the leeway for him to seal the next big deal with potential money bags willing to invest in his brand. Also, while the naira notes were flying up and down during his mum’s funeral, he trended literally as №1 on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook so much so that within the snap of a finger, fans of Grammy award-winning star, Wizkid forgot his birthday was being celebrated too. All social media platforms were engulfed in a wild frenzy of Obi Cubana’s late mum’s funeral. The biggest beneficiary of the lavish funeral may just be the Anambra and Delta state governments. Most dignitaries landed at Asaba airport and some checked in at Asaba hotels even days before the funeral proper. The same happened with hotels around, Awka and Nnewi. Traders, and transport companies within these regions all benefitted. Needless to say, data companies also were smiling? Every megabyte I ‘subbed’ during the weekend was just going ‘zam! zam!’ like the combined speed of Usain Bolt and Justin Gatlin at the Olympics because I had camped on Instagram to see nice pictures and videos for myself. Now, to young and impressionable minds; do they have the mental faculty to interpret the lavish and outlandish show of money and affluence they saw in Oba in the right perspectives? Can they resist the urge to think they must now get rich at any cost? Well, something which

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