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“Shap Shap” by Faith Oyadiran

I know a very bright young man. He lacked proficiency in the English language. He is very diligent (I’m not giving out his details so people won’t come for me). He was asked to give another word that could replace “hurriedly.” In his innocence, he wrote “shap shap.” One of my girls saw it and burst into laughter. I had a good laugh as well. I must reiterate that the young man did it innocently. I will assume that the song “Oluwa, answer me sharp, sharp, answer me sharp, sharp” from Funke Akindele’s epic Blockbuster “Battle on Buka Street” will naturally pop up in your head like it did in mine. After that event, I headed to my office. I needed to be alone. I adjusted my chair, drew my table close and blanked out of my immediate environment. I mulled over that particular incident. It was hilarious but the paradox didn’t elude me. It is a representation of how rationality has been rationed over the years. We have transcended the vistas of logic. “Sharp sharp” has morphed into “shap shap” At that moment, I realized the importance of “deep work” which stood in stark contrast to “shap shap” I joined a writing group (A Book in a Year, hosted by @cmonionline) in May, and I can remember two different sessions where the resource personnel emphasized the importance of “deep work.” It lent more depth to my contemplations. “We are the generation that is quick to put everything on display including our folly” I concluded. Process, depth, and diligence often eroded in a whiff. Hotness and parsimony have been awarded prominence over posterity. “Balloons and balloons,” my friend and I once joked. An occasion without them is criticized as not colourful. A church service without them is bland and unorganized. Gifts and flowers without them are watered down. Pastries without them are regarded as a “mountain of flours” and so on. My friend further mimicked a scenario from the Bible in the old KJV’s voice: “O ye generation of balloons, who has bewitched you into the blow fast and ‘poof’ in a swift doctrine? The essence of the joke was to foreground how deep we have sunk into shallowness. We quest for everything like fast food but neglect the transcendence that comes from meticulous efforts. This is why the gaps in many success stories will forever remain unarticulated. The process can never be cheated. I reminisce on Ralph Ellison’s ‘Invisible Man.’ My intent is not to draw attention to the shenanigans surrounding the settings of the literary work. Neither do I seek to draw away the sympathy the protagonist has garnered across ages. I’m intrigued by the unnamed guy’s demise into oblivion. He embarked on adventures to gain a voice. Every measure of visibility he attains makes him more obscure. The irony of the story comes to the fore when the unnamed hero cements his invisibility by ending up in a manhole buried forever in oblivion. In isolation, we discover that he has been given a rare opportunity in the form of time, obscurity, and a perfect atmosphere to do an appraisal. We have the tools for lasting success at our disposal, so why not give due diligence to careful observation? Pay attention to details. Ponder and rummage. Study and gather facts. Then give yourself time to grow. Investing in the wind guarantees that you will be swept away by the formidable momentum it yields. Oyadiran Faith is a graduate of English Language and Literary Studies from Obafemi Awolowo University Osun State, Nigeria. He is an avid reader and a passionate writer. He currently works as a Diction instructor. He is on Instagram as @Op_bolu and can be reached @oyadiranfaithopeyemi@gmail.com

Blog, Writers

Deep admiration, False Hatred, Strong affection!!! by Okeke Godwin Iyke

Nigeria is a country where different tribes and religion discreetly and deeply love and admire each other but publicly castigate and hate each other. Let me give you a practical example: I traveled to my village last month and was discussing with a group of people at the market square. Behold one top retired civil servant drove pass and discussion changes. … 1st man: “This man has retired and he didn’t help any of our people to get a job”. 2nd man: “Our people can never help each other. If it Hausa and Yoruba people they will fix themselves. This is why I love Hausa people, they help themselves but our people hate themselves” Me: if Hausa and Yoruba are so good, why then do we say that they are our problem? 3rd Man: They are not our problem. We are our problem. My daughter was giving an insurance job by a Yoruba man. OK Kontinu. I accompanied a friend to buy a cow he is using for burial at the market. This man is an IPOB die hard. On arrival at the market, the first Igbo man we met told us that the last price for the cow size we pointed was 250k. My friend was provoked with that price and told me that we should proceed to Hausa man’s stand. When we met the Hausa man, he communicated by speaking Hausa language. Both of them were excited and he gave him the bigger size of the cow for 200k. My friend was excited. He told me never to buy a cow from Igbo man because they will cheat you with price. He told me to look for Hausa man whenever I want to buy meat or fruits. OK Kontinu. I recalled one of my visit to Katsina to buy a goat with a friend. We needed 100 goats but managed to get only 55. They asked us to give them money so that they will help us and complete it the next day. We gave them and started to discuss. 1st man: I love Igbo because they love themselves. They teach each other business and help their brother. 2nd man: They build big houses and accommodate all their brothers. They show us love more than our people. 3rd Man: I was in Lagos as maigaurd for one Igbo man for 20yrs. Kai walahi, the man is good to me and my children. OK. Kontinu! As a Yorubanised Igbo man in Lagos, an average Yoruba friend will tell me how lovely the Igboss are. How industrious Igbos are. How they join in development of where they live and how they easily feel at home with Igbos. This discreet admiration of each other across tribe is what make this country indivisible! !! Nigeria will be worst than Syria if the hate and bitterness you read online everyday is a true reflection of what you witness in reality. Many people are not even aware that the Shettima of Arewa youth that gave igbos quit notice in Kaduna is married to an Igbo woman ??. The minority that are suffering from ethnocentrism are negligible. Their noise cannot exceed their dry page. The field reality contrast the online vile and hatred. My duty is to harvest good people in every part of the world. Feel free to conjugate with the evil ones if that will give you mental orgasm. Okokobioko is your anchor man Stay tuned Okeke Godwin Iyke tweets @comradop

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