gender-based violence

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Exploring The Effects Of Religious Beliefs In Abusive Marriages by Victoria Mbanasor.

  INTRODUCTION Gender-based violence in the home, especially in marriages, is the most pervasive phenomenon that cuts across every stratum of society and life in general. It is Nigeria’s most prevalent type of violence against women. Often invisible, shrouded in a veil of silence and secrecy until the victim suffers permanent disability, psychological trauma or death. It is a global topic that has recently began to be viewed as a criminal and constitutional problem, despite the fact that it has become a way of life in Nigerian society and is still culturally accepted. Women are frequently in grave danger in the place where they should feel safest: their homes. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), one out of every three women has been subjected to gender-based violence at some point in their lives. Many people’s homes are where they are subjected to a regime of terror and violence perpetrated by a supposed loved one. The need to address this issue which is threatening the safety of spouses and their fundamental right to human dignity has prompted this paper. Accordingly, this paper investigates the role of religious beliefs in abusive marriages. This paper focuses on gender-based violence against women in marriages based on the understanding that although women can also be violent, but their actions account for a small percentage of gender-based violence. According to a UNICEF report, violence in the domestic sphere is usually perpetrated by males who are, or who have been in positions of trust, intimacy and power. Therefore, it would seem permissible to focus primarily on violence against women. In the final analysis, this paper shall proffer practical suggestions to this malady. EXPLORING THE EFFECTS OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS IN ABUSIVE MARRIAGES Recently, following the death of Nigerian gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, whose death was alleged to be caused by her husband’s relentless abuse, a religious leader, the Internet went revolutionarily agog on the incredible influence that religion has on abusive marriages. To wit, arguments abound over the relationship between religion/religiosity and spousal gender-based violence leading to inconsistent and contradictory responses. While some netizens opined that religion is a protective factor in this regard and serves as the safest harbor for women as well as veritable orientation platform for men, others averred that its effect is insignificant and pointed instead to factors like economic and cultural power dynamics that gives men proprietary rights over women, cultural definitions of sex roles, customs of marriage (bride price), acceptability of violence to resolve conflict, general patriarchal stereotypes such as the belief in the inherent superiority of males and women as acquirable properties. However, while the social context of spousal violence in Nigeria is related to the traditional African patriarchal society that defines the gender power structure, religion plays a profound role in fanning its flames. This is accomplished in the following ways: Patriarchal-Induced Interpretation of Submission Religion is a reflection of the society and has inherited a society that has been wrongly taught the roles of men. Our patriarchal culture has influenced how we interpret the Bible, particularly the biblical idea of submission. The stipulation that “wives [should] submit themselves unto their husbands as unto the lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” has been chauvinistically interpreted to mean dominance or rulership. A doctrine that was biblically in place to ensure mutuality of respect in marriage and prevent leadership conflict has been erroneously construed to render women as chastise-able properties. This shows how much of bastions of chauvinism and women oppression religious houses are. They exercise enormous influence and power over not just the teeming millions of devotees, but across every sector of the society, including legal lines. For instance, section 55 of the Penal Code which operates in northern Nigeria allows men to chastise their wives by reasonably caning or beating them (a provision that is founded on Islamic religious practices). More so, rape is still committed in marriage beds due to this patriarchal import! This jeopardizes the safety of women in such marriages. Stringent Religious Preaching of Forgiveness and Hope Marriage is deemed the combination of two forgivers, but this should not apply to abusive marital settings, especially where the violence is persistent. Unfortunately, faith is anchored on fundamentals of forgiveness. The risk of violence in Nigerian marriages is normalized because rigid concepts of religious beliefs in forgiveness and perseverance become more stringent. Religious leaders are often quicker to counsel a complainant that forgiveness is an endless religious journey and remind the victim of Christ’s stipulation of forgiving ones offender “seventy times seventy times” and how “the one who endures till the end shall be saved” than they are to give recourse to the victims plight. A survey of 5,700 pastors found that 26 percent of pastors ordinarily would tell a woman being abused to continue to submit and to “trust that God would honor her action by either stopping the abuse or giving her the strength to endure it” while 71 percent of pastors would never advise a battered wife to leave her husband or seperate. Many individuals have met their waterloo in marriages as a result of this stringent belief. Formerly, it was thought that partners stayed in abusive marriages because of lack of economic power, fear of being alone, and prioritization of the welfare of their children, however, late Osinachi Nwachukwu is a furnishing instance of how damaging the tendency to stay in abusive relationships due to spiritual principles are. Fear of Religious Ostracization Closely related to this is the fear of cultural and religious ostracization. Religion as a reflection of culture condemns divorce. One of the tenets of religion is that marriage is a do or die affair-an everlasting divine conjunction that can never be put “asunder” except in the event of death. Even contemporary educated, working class women that has all it takes to beat cultural and societal norms and shades in this regard are also victims of domestic violence

Essays, Opinion Articles

Essay: Gender Based Violence and Religion by Esther Ojetunde.

  Gender based violence is violence directed against a person because of that person’s gender, or violence that affects persons of a particular gender disproportionately.[1] Religion is the entire collection of beliefs, values, and practices that a group holds to be the true and sacred. A group’s religious beliefs explain where the people fit in relation to the universe and how they should behave while here on Earth.[2] Gender-based violence (GBV) is the most pervasive yet least visible human rights violation in the world. It includes physical, sexual, mental or economic harm inflicted on a person because of socially ascribed power imbalances between males and females. It also includes the threat of violence, coercion and deprivation of liberty, whether in public or private. In all societies, women and girls have less power than men – over their bodies, decisions and resources. Social norms that condone men’s use of violence as a form of discipline and control reinforce gender inequality and perpetuate gender-based violence. Across the globe, women and girls – especially adolescents – face the greatest risk. Gender-based violence takes numerous forms: Intimate partner violence, sexual violence, child marriage, female genital mutilation, trafficking for sexual exploitation, female infanticide, and ‘honour’ crimes are common – with intimate partner violence occurring at staggering rates in every country.[3] Groups that are particularly vulnerable include: women and girls children older people people living with disabilities lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer/questioning, intersex, asexual (LGBTQA+) people (Nkonyane, 2019) Religious houses are the bastions of chauvinism and women oppression in this country. They exercise not just influence, but also real power over the teeming millions of their devotees. The religious leaders’ word is unquestioningly taken for gospel by the believer. The worship centres commands the women folk to be “submissive” to the men folk in all circumstance, then, chastise the woman for not being submissive enough the moment the man turns nasty. There is hardly a dispute between a couple that is not traced to the woman’s conduct or misconduct in the led up to the attack on them. Both Islam and Christian doctrines reference women as chattels of their men; a nod and a wink to the misogynistic impulse in men. It creates and augments the man’s propensity to violence against women.[4] Some warning signs of abuse in the home or in a relationship include: Pushing for quick involvement: Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.” Jealousy: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone.” Controlling Behavior: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you’re late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to do anything. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who support you of “causing trouble.” Blaming others for problems or mistakes: It’s always someone else’s fault when anything goes wrong. Making others responsible for his or her feelings: The abuser says, “You make me angry,” instead of “I am angry,” or says, “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you.” Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Cruelty to animals or children: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also, may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Use of force during sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things, degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. Rigid roles: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home. Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes. Past battering: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person “made” him (or her) do it. Threats of violence: Says things like, “I’ll break your neck,” or “I’ll kill you,” and then dismisses them with, “I didn’t really mean it.” Controlling behaviors using social media or technology[5]   Forms of Gender Based Violence (GBV) GBV can occur in many different forms. These are the most common forms: 1.Physical 2.Emotional 3.Sexual 4.Technological 5.Financial   Physical Hitting, slapping, punching, kicking Burning Strangulation Damaging personal property Refusing medical care and/or controlling medication Coercing partner into substance abuse Use of weapons Emotional Name calling, insulting Blaming the partner for everything Extreme jealousy Intimidation Shaming, humiliating Isolation Controlling what the partner does and where the partner goes Stalking Sexual Forcing a partner to have sex with other people Pursuing sexual activity when the victim is not fully conscious or is afraid to say no Hurting partner physically during sex Coercing partner to have sex without protection / sabotaging birth control   Technological Hacking into a partner’s e-mail and personal accounts Using tracking devices in a partner’s cell phone to monitor their location, phone calls and messages Monitoring interactions via social media Demanding to know partner’s passwords   Financial Inflicting physical harm or injury that would prevent the person from attending work Harassing partner at their workplace Controlling financial assets and effectively putting partner on an allowance Damaging a partner’s credit score   The impact of GBV The potential harmful impacts of these forms of GBV include: 1. Ill health 2. psychological, physical and emotional trauma 3. Unwanted pregnancies 4. Sexually transmitted infections, including HIV infection 5. Suicide 6. Depression 7. Low self-esteem 8. Death 9. Educational delays with your studies 10. Drop out[6] Religious teaching can be a serious hindrance to having faith communities responding actively to GBV. Teaching can support religious beliefs that contribute to creating an environment that justifies GBV and hamper survivorsfrom seeking help and leaving abusive situations. Especially messages about submissiveness have been used to justify abuse. Furthermore, the beliefs espoused by faith leaders on the issue of divorce are often detrimental to the safety of

Essays, Opinion Articles

Essay: Gender Based Violence and Religion by Ekoja Okewu

  “The only time I will be proud to be a man is when every woman is safe and comfortable around me”-DJ Kyos Introduction In recent times, each time I hear the word “Ekwueme”, the reality of the existence of gender-based violence in religious marriages jolts me. According to the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence survey, more than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced abuse by an intimate partner in their lifetime4. As alarming as this statistics may be, it’s more scary when religious beliefs instead of acting as resources for help, become the obstacles that fuels abuse in marriages. This essay seeks to define some terms, list some examples of Gender Based Violence, examine case studies from Traditional religion, Islam and Christianity, explore the effects of religious belief in abusive marriages and proffer solutions to curb the menace. Definition of terms Gender Based Violence refers to harmful acts directed at an individual based on their gender, and it’s rooted in gender inequality, abuse of power and harmful norms(1). Religion is the entire collection of beliefs, values, and practices that a group holds to be true and sacred(2). Abusive marriage is one in which one partner mistreats or misuses another partner(5). Examples of Gender Based Violence: Child marriage Female Genital Mutilation Honour killing Trafficking for sex or slavery Intimate partner violence Physical punishment Sexual, emotional or psychological violence(7).   Case studies Traditional religion Before the spread of Christianity and Islam to Africa, this was the religion of our ancestors. From midnight tales I heard from older members of my community, the Idoma culture for instance, honoured a deity known as “alekwu”. The fear of alekwu often made my grandparents to avoid violence’s like sexual abuse. In a situation where a wife abuses her husband through adultery, such a woman dies in no distant time, except she seeks remedy from the elders. This belief limited the occurrence of some abuses in marriage. Nevertheless, the inability for the belief to capture Female Genital Mutilation, slavery, honour killing and physical punishments led to its perpetration at will. Islamic religion For Muslims, the use of violence and coercion as a tool of control in the home is oppression and not accepted in Islam. According to M. Basheer Ahmed, “Under no circumstances is violence against women encouraged or allowed in Islam. There are many examples in the Quran and A hadith that describes the behaviour of Muslim towards husbands and wife. The relationship should be one of mutual love, respect and kindness.” “In the event of a family dispute, the Quran exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not overlook her positive aspects. If the problem relates to the wife’s behaviour, her husband may exhort her and appeal for reason. In most cases, this measure is likely to be sufficient. In cases where the problem continues, the husband may express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a separate bed from hers. There are cases however, in which a wife persists in deliberate mistreatment and expresses contempt to her husband and disregard for her marital obligations. Instead of divorce, the husband may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at least in some cases” -Jamal Badawi. Christianity “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them”-Colossians: 3:19 “Likewise husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered”-1peter:3:7 “Be kind to one another, tender hearted; forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you”-Ephesians: 4:32 “And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? He answered them, what did Moses command you? They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away. Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female”-Mark: 10:2-12 “For the Lord the God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away”-Malachi2:16 The Christian belief under the New Testament dispensation condemns Gender Based violence in all forms. Although the Scripture serves to provide support and assist those who have experienced some sort of violence in their marriages, many due to lack of knowledge, salvation, and disobedience to Scripture are leveraging upon the art of “twisting Scripture for self” to perpetrate such acts. The Bible enjoins all to forgive but the perpetrators of abuses hinge upon it to inflict continuous pain and harm on their victims. The example of Gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachuckwu, who died on April 8 2022 following alleged beating and molestation received from her husband8 is a testament to the effects of religious beliefs in abusive marriages. For fear of being seen as a gospel singer with a bad marriage, the singer covered up all the molestations she was going through and died in silence. She may have read about the part of Malachi that says God hates divorce, and out of fear, was afraid to do anything that will displease God. Maybe if she had good understanding of Scriptures, she would have sought for pastoral counselling and found a solution to the problem early. Exploring the effects of religious beliefs in abusive marriages with practical suggestions From the case studies examined, it is safe to say, “Religious belief plays a vital role in fuelling abuse and preventing women and men in abusive marriages from seeking help from relevant authorities”. The Bible contains many stories of violence against women in the Old Testament like Tamar (2 Samuel: 13), Dinah (Genesis: 34), Vashti (Esther: 1). As women in the New Testament dispensation come across these stories, they are often unable to explore it correctly for use. This makes them to erroneously refer to them as foundations to

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