pain

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Regrets And Pain.

James’ mother slumped during her night shift at the Teaching Hospital. James had to abandon his education because of his mother’s situation. She was taken to a ward where she worked. She needed money to pay her bills. She couldn’t work in her situation. She felt helpless.

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The Darkest Place In The Heart by Victor Oladejo.

𝙋𝘼𝙡𝙉 “ Please just help me balance everything” Miriam begged. Ifeoma shrugged and punched few keys on the keyboard. “ Miriam, this is not the second time, it’s not the third, and am certain this is not the last time we are doing this. If Oga…” “ Just for three hours, just three ooo, lfy babe, just three” she pleaded. “ If Oga comes back, what do you want me to say. the last time you went, we both got queries. And you know how rare this job is. An..and by the way, what is this important thing you are going out for?” she said, with her lips in a funny angle. Miriam frowned at this. Though she had done this in the past. Ify Was crossing her line. Being work pals doesn’t mean everyone should know your business. she wanted to tell lfy that it was no business of hers, but she kept quiet. “ l just want to see someone,” Miriam said calmly. Fighting with lfy won’t solve anything and moreover who would take her desk work willingly for three hours if not Ifeoma? “ Thank you , Aunty lfy, don’t worry my brother will marry you” Ifeoma laughed and continued with her work. She knew lfy would do the job, but she was also careful that she won’t become a topic of gossip in the firm. She packed her things from the desk into her handbag and walked to the toilet. She turned the tap on and splashed water on her face. She opened her bag and took her handkerchief which she used to wipe her face clean. Her phone beeped again. Ralph won’t even allow me to makeup, she said to herself. She dropped the handkerchief on the flat board and reached for her phone in the bag. Her makeup stuffs knocked against other things she kept in the bag as she searched for the device. The phone beeped again and the device’s torch flashed. She picked the phone out of the dark bag. It was a message from Ralph. 𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑚 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔? 𝐴𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑗𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔, ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒. She smiled. Ralph and his surprises, the last one he did was the iPhone he bought for her. Miriam wondered what he had in store this time. She decided not to make up again. She dropped the phone into the bag and hurried out of the toilet. “ Bye, lfy” she said and walked quickly to the exit. “ Oh, you’ve not left,” lfeoma said. When she got out of the firm’s gate, she took a cab to Raphael’s house. * * * Raphael dropped the camera carefully on the wooden shoe rack, which was an arm’s length to the bed. He clicked record and the small globe on the top of the kodak camera turned green. He walked to the bed and sat on it. He waved his hand in the air, duffed, and grinned like a mad man. Satisfied, he stood and picked the camera. He pressed play and watched the scene he just acted. The video was clear. He nodded and pressed record. His heart was beating faster and his skin was hot. He was scared of what he was about to do and his conscience, like a little god was judging his intentions. He stroked his full beard and breathed inward. The cab driver was playing Kenny Roger’s song — the gambler when she boarded the cab. She sang along for a while before her mind drifted to her relationship with Ralph. They had started as friends which she vowed would remain as such, but it turned out that she had to bend her standards. She knew it would come to this. A relationship without seeking God’s consent is bad, the one done secretly is worse. The cab jolted and made a fast bend to the left side of the road. The car screeched, its sound piercing her ear. The driver said something she didn’t hear, but she guessed it was about bad roads. The cab stopped few metres to a bungalow with a guava tree at the front. Miriam paid the cab driver and walked across the asphalt road to Ralphs’s bungalow. She knocked. “ Ralph?” “ Am coming!” He opened the door and smiled. “ Oh, l thought you won’t come again,” Ralph said, feigning dejection. “ You know l won’t do that. So what is the surprise” she said. “ Okay. hmm, wait. Wh… Why don’t you come in and have a drink before l show…” “ Ralph, you know we don’t do indoors. Our spot under that tree is good. “ “ l know…w… It’s sunny and l think inside would be fine. “ Miriam shrugged and walked in slowly. “ Show me the surprise now, abi. this suspense is too much. I can’t wait. Is it the job?” Ralph giggled and closed the door. “ Don’t spoil it” he said. “Let me close your eyes and lead you to it.” “ You and this your play- play, Oga l no get time, l have just three hours o” “ Okay,” He said and smiled. He walked to her back and covered her eyes with his palm. He gazed at the door of his room at the other end of the passage. It was opened. He smiled and cleared his throat. “ We are going straight,” he said.” one step “ she took a step. “ straight abi?” “ Yes straight” When they got to his room. he took his hands away. “ Your room?” she said and stared at him quizzically. Suspicion crept into her mind and her heart began to beat faster. “ where is it?” she asked. He frowned, licked his lips, and grabbed her. He tore her blouse into shreds and pushed her to the bed… 𝙁𝙀𝘼𝙍 Phillips dialed lfeoma’s number. She was the last person on his mind after he had called a couple of Miriam’s friends. No one had seen her. The phone rang

Creative Essays, Writers

The Pain In My Smile by Chisom Arueze.

Sometimes a smile has nothing to do with happiness. My cake sat untouched, it was my favorite but my appetite was a burning rubbish, that burnt with the laxity of a walking snail, until it finally disappeared. I’ve had quite a number of food from the pan this week, don’t blame me, these were the perks of having a baker as a friend. Cherry’s voice was a siren, it was everywhere. Her eyes were the color of fresh cocoa . Her exuberance and happiness was so obvious, even to the blind, though she didn’t mind that, there was an air of melancholy hovering around me in her shop. The trees danced in the wind and one could hear the inconsistent groaning of thunder, threatening a downpour. Saturdays in cherry’s shop could be as quiet as a library and I was grateful for that. Just then, the door grumbled as two people sauntered in, holding hands. Cherry rushed over to them, exchanging pleasantries, as they progressed in their chitchat, I figured they came cake tasting. As these two conversed rather with their eyes, my eyes did a quick sweep of the couple and then it rested on the pendant of the lady. It was an onyx . As in depths of many seas, my mind was drowned in memories I so much badly wanted to forget. ************************************************************************************ For months I’d been crying myself to sleep, while enduring every dawn that breaks open like a wound that bleeds afresh. His voice was a constant echo in my head. “I have the report of your MRI scan “you see here in your brain. there is a medium sized tumor. At first it could look like it wasn’t there, but one has to be careful or else you could be misdiagnosed. That has been the cause of your constant headaches and……….” As the almost never ending Tests and scans were carried out, it was found out that this tumor was cancerous. Due to it’s size, it was risky having a surgery. The doctors said I had one year to live. It’s been two months since I received my death sentence, and as I ate my lunch at a snail’s pace, I inched over my thoughts like a measuring tape, wondering where dead people go to. I found myself thinking about death more often. At some point I wanted to like death, but every now and then, things happened that made me want to live. In those times, I would lock myself up for days and cry; heart wrenching, tear jerking sobs. So I had to accept my fate, after all we are all born to die anyway. My only family was my younger sister, she was my rock. I worked at a tech company. I was anti- social, gave up on love a long time ago but there was a colleague, who was the closest thing to a friend I had, who made my heart flutter. He would go out of his way to carry my bags that were as heavy as a rock, get me lunch when I don’t leave my desk, and always reminded the security man that I was in there, whenever I worked late. Subtle acts like this made me feel special, I wondered if he was God’s death day gift. Most days I found myself smiling more than usual. I wondered if this was what love felt like. I knew I shouldn’t expect anything but with what he does for me, he gave me the smallest dash of hope. And You what they say with hope, once you get just a ray of it, you latch unto it like a parasite, with all you have got. So while we waited out the rain after work one day, he cornered me and blurted out his feelings. A tear escaped my eyes and he took that to be consent and engulfed me in a bear hug. I did want to tell him I didn’t have much time to live but I couldn’t, because I guessed I liked the way he numbed all the pain. And for someone like me, who had such a short time to live, I just wanted to be happy. So a new relationship is born. Don’t call me a weirdo but I felt like Greg and I had a connection. We spoke with our eyes, he could read my mind and I his. He knew exactly what to do to make everything right. The moments I spent with him, were wonderful and I wished my death could be as good as this. Two days later was my birthday, and he couldn’t stop rambling about the present he had for me. I was elated, curious as a child. On that day after we had gone out, we came back to his house. As I sat, he ran into his bedroom and emerged with a boyish grin on his face. “Close your eyes” he spoke . I did as he asked. My eyes were closed but I could still feel him behind me. He had his hands on my nape, and then on my neck. “ Open them”. As I did my eyes went straight to the cold thin metal on my neck. I was not a jewelry person but this could be a start. It was a gold necklace that had a little black rhombus shaped stone encrusted at the middle. As I opened my mouth to relay my gratitude, he dragged me gently to his room, in front of the mirror. He stood right behind me. We stared at each other in the mirror “ Do you know why I choose this for you?” I shook my head in answer. “I got this for you because it matches the color of your eyes. I looked at my self, then.. just then I found out my pupils were jet black. He answered my question without me asking. “It’s a precious stone.. an Onyx” he said. I spun around and gave

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7:00 A Need For A Healing by Victor Oladejo.

The pain went through his head again.  It was nothing like the first shot he took, the alcohol didn’t make him dizzy, it created pain. Joe felt the back of his head  towards his neckline release a strong wave of pain that went to his head like stinges of sharp needles. He stood still and tried to ignore the pain in his head . He had drank the drink to drive away the fear that he would fail, that re-occurring voice of his silenced conscience. The voice kept on ringing:  𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 !  As if waiting for the voice, his body would tremble and his legs would begin to shake violently as if they won’t support him anymore or they would cease to be a part of him.  𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘪 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 , 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘭. Joe couldn’t believe how james got the video. He had planned the whole process well and everything fell into place as he had planned. The files he stole were the only things he took, but like the proverb says: one oily finger brings stain to the whole palm. He stole the research documents and the secret cctv camera recorded the process ! How come ?  Joe stroked his head and sighed. If his master finds out, his jail term is sealed, then who would feed his aged grandparents? But this war on an honest man by his mentor.  𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘪 𝘢𝘮 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘺, joe thought sadly.                                                                                      ****** ” we have an edge over them , from the last seating, it is quite evident that this would be clear victory” he said. The entire chamber members of Vault Of Justice ( VOJ) chambers sat in awe and delight in the conference room as this young and talented lawyer and activist present his research results in preparation for what the daily news tagged in their headline: THE SECRETS OF ILLEGAL OIL EXPLORATION REVEALED. The law firm had become popular after Lawyer Toju sued a couple of top business men who had been milking the public owned cow . In accordance to the law enacted, no one should venture into exploration of crude oil in the state,  erring to the law would only earn the offender a lifetime behind the bars. Lawyer Toju on his part as a savvy lawyer, launched into research that would throw light into one of the darkest abyss of the state. ” thanks to the local phographers we hired, they did their job well. All the illegal areas the exploration is been made were snapped undetected. We owe those guys our credits for this victory, they went as far they could inland to get more photographs, one even as  a picture of senator Jamil” joe paused and surveyed the crowd, the conference room was taken again in applause. James heart skipped a beat but he managed a dry smile and stroked his grey birds. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦, 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴? He got up and excused himself for some minutes, as he was leaving, the gaze of Toju followed him .  𝘏𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦, 𝘪𝘧 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥, 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 , Toju smiled at his thouggt  and  continued on his research reports. Outside the conference hall, the head and founder of VOJ chambers —james—held his phone to his left ear. His whole life now depends on the dial. The only room opened that he won’t be disgraced alongside Senator jamil was to move his best lawyer and son in this noble work of justice is to kill him.Trust Toju, once he is determined on anything, nothing can hold him back.  𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘪 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥? ” hello, i am there” the voice at the reciever’s end said. ” i am telling you, make sure you do this thing well, if you make any mistake i would upload the video “ Joe’s hand shook when he heard ” upload” another reference to the original transaction files of oil exploration made by Senator jamil . ” what if i decide to confess?” joe said, awaiting the impact of his threat to the old devil. James laughed hysterically. Somewhere in the depth of his heart a voice told him not to joke with joe. ” we in this together, we would serve our terms and you know me, we run this state. Ondo state is ours, after some years i would be out” james replied. ” No problem, let us see, i won’t do this thing. I am leaving” joe replied still contemplating what he would do to erase his past, just a stain and all this problem. To make matters worse he had given the file he stole to Senator jamil’s secretary. ” remember i am not the only one in this mess, senator jamil won’t forgive you, you and your people” he said viscerally. ” i transferred money to you, do you remember? That is enough proof that we are partners. I would print the transfer detail and you know where it leads…… For the last time you do the job or not. and dont forget to bring the documents”  Joe’s hand fell, he knew they were fused already. The bound to the crime is strong. ” i would do the job” joe replied and ended the call. James felt relief, he turned and returned to the conference hall. When he got there, the presentation was over. He bid everyone good bye,

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