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Blog, Diaspora Diary., FEATURES

Diaspora Diary: Creating The Spiderweb.

It only takes one person to mobilize a community and inspire change. Even if you don’t feel like you have it in you, it’s in you. You have to believe in yourself. People will see your vision and passion and follow you. ~Teyonah Parris   Scene 1: We gathered for a BBQ at a friend’s stately new home at a quiet estate located in the northwest region of England. Seated in the garden on the day were 7 Nigerian men. Some had flown in from other European cities while others drove down from other parts of the UK. While we feasted on the barbecue and drinks the conversation shifted to the usual topic about happenings back home. Following the usual lamentations one of us stated that he may NEVER step into Nigeria again. He wasn’t alone in that line of cerebration. Another friend echoed his sentiments and added that he had instructed his uncle to sell off his village land and share the proceeds with his cousin. I was a little perplexed. Not because this was new to me but because I usually hear it from struggling diasporans and JJCs. My guys are none of these. They are worthy and successful professionals in their respective fields. Why would they say this? I always believed that prosperous Nigerians in the diaspora owe the country the duty of regular visits. Either to see relatives or to contribute to her development. This should be more so for those of us that lived there during our formative years. My friends would go on to explain the reasons behind their decision and of course, the rising insecurity topped the chart. One told of his harrowing experience in the hands of kidnappers along the notorious Benin axis on his last visit back in 2017. Another narrated how a police officer threatened him at gunpoint over vehicle particulars. Insecurity, insecurity, insecurity… Scene 2: A few days into the new year and my phone rang one early morning. My friend who lives about 90 minutes away wanted to visit later in the day. He has just returned after his late mum’s funeral in Nigeria. I ran off to the local African shop and bought pounded yam for the Nsala soup my wife had made the previous day. So when he arrived we got into you guessed right; the usual discussion! He decried the worsening situation since his last visit 5 years ago. I heard about how the funeral had to be fixed in a hurry and so soon after his mum’s demise because of the uncertainties that often mark our general elections. They had to mobilise personnel from the police, DSS and the navy to ensure adequate security for the duration of their stay in the village. There was frustration with the funeral organisers while some of the locals extorted the family not minding their bereavement. At the bank, a cashier wasted over 30 minutes on a transaction and added to his indignation by asking him to “search for a superior who may have gone outside”. By the time he was leaving later in the evening, my friend divulged that his itinerary in the coming weeks involved two house-hunting trips to southern France and the Andalucian region of Spain. A befitting retirement home will have to be somewhere warmer that the temperate British Isles where he had lived all these years. Scene 3: While writing the first two scenes I remembered another US-based friend who started a business back in 2016. Before then we had discussed investing in Nigeria to create employment with another stream of income that can be efficiently and remotely run. The business can then grow into branches nationwide. He actually started before me and opened the pharmaceutical store in the federal capital. However, he was forced to close down after what he termed as “too many stories from his staff”. Employees entrusted with running the business were lousy and repeatedly made little or no returns. My guy just closed shop and focused on his hustle abroad. In my own case, I believe that my extensive business experience in Nigeria and perhaps lady luck are factors that have kept my shop open since 2019. But of course not without the challenges. I had to temporarily close down twice in the first year while the search for a salesperson lasted and subsequently for the pandemic lockdown. There are countless examples like these when the good intention of our brethren abroad are met with frustration that discourage visits and the attendant investment. But we cannot give up on Mama Africa. We must continue to do what we can. Those who may not want to visit can still assist by utilising the power of the internet in providing the opportunity for young Africans to acquire marketable digital skills. By so doing we can create multiple talent pools that diasporans can avail of to invest back home. So you see, it is actually a win-win approach. In the past, I have written about how Africans in the diaspora can help to improve productivity in our homeland. And before then I already started a weekly essay competition to revive a waning literary culture and encourage budding writers. I also created a weekly #SundayPuzzle on Twitter for young people to exercise their brains. To date, we have published more than 1,000 essays from over 50 writers and paid out over N3 million in cash prizes as tokens of encouragement. We now have a growing audience of over 10,000 followers. All thanks to your magnanimous contributions. Beyond these, we have other e-tivities/training on digital skill acquisition and self-development. Some testimonials of our writers can be found here. We are still pushing and we solicit your support/collaboration to reach more youths with this noble initiative. You can become our Patreon or donate via Paypal.  Thanks for reading. Please if you like this story feel free to peruse and share our free content at https://cmonionline.com/ or follow us on Twitter and Facebook. You

Blog, Lifestyle

The Rise Of ‘Woke’ African Writers by Katchy Ohiaeri

Akwaeke Emezi identifies as a non-binary ogbanje. Just by reading the words, the term oxymoron is typified. Non-binary, a claimed gender, typically emanating from perceptions and feelings that one is no longer male or female but a phantom gender, is featured side by side to a metaphysical creature in Igbo ontology, ogbanje. Well Ogbanje I know, I don’t know non-binary in Igbo ontology! This is not transphobia but fact checking. Ogbanje’s are known to be spirits that invade the human race. They are born into families and these children hardly live past their teenage years before they die and “reincarnate” in the subsequent child that is born. Emezi, the self acclaimed Ogbanje and spirit being in human form, should be pushing 30 and I dare say, has defied all the odds that can make her a suitable example of an ogbanje. Ogbanje kids usually are sickly, of which modern medical science has attributed the belief to the sickle cell disease which was not yet discovered at the time of the popularity of this belief in Igbo land. I don’t think Emezi was a sickly child or even a sickler. She looks healthy, very healthy to me. The reason I write this is to buttress my resentments towards this knack for twisting African history, religion, ontology or what have you to suit the sentiments and the sensibilities of the west. I see that African writings are now skewed towards the western culture and sensibilities such that when they are churned out, they leave a bad taste in the mouth of true Africans who have lived the real African experience. The continuous lack luster depiction of African stories in hybrid forms aimed at reflecting the experiences of the west by intelligently infusing African history and ontology into western culture in a bid to get the reading audience excited and included, will remain a mirage to a lot of true African writers. The other day, it was a debate orchestrated by Chimamanda, that the culture of Igbo women marrying women in the family had a lot of correlation with bisexuality and lesbianism. All this to pander to the whims and caprices of the west? Such that we lose our history as it is and as it should be told! Where are the writers like Chinua Achebe, who simply put pen to paper and penned down deep insights into the African lived experiences? All we have now are economic African writers, from poverty porn to LGBTQ+ indulgence. In a bid to get the west to appreciate the “metaphysical and queerness” that comes with Igbo mythology, Emezi had to surgically yank off her breasts, remove her uterus and Fallopian tubes to underpin her opinions that to prevent an ogbanje from contributing to the human race that they are in essence sent to destroy, sterilization is paramount, in her own words, well not literally. Wonderful! @katchy Ohiaeri, 2021

Essays, Writers

“WRITERS ASSEMBLE!” by Humble Ogbonna.

The roaring sound of his Jinxeng motorcycle stopped as he halted in front of my gate. I alighted from his bike and extended a crisp #200 note to him after which he gave me a balance of #100 and zoomed off. I opened the gate, pulled off my mask, washed my hands in the rickety tap that was in the compound before making my way to my apartment, tired and worn-out. It had been a busy day at work and it seemed like the last ounce of energy in me had been exhausted. I had to find something to eat immediately “Should I quickly preprare concoction rice?” No, that would take a longer time. “Should I get ‘easy to make noodles’ to cook?” Oops! Iya Fatiah would have gone to the mosque at this time to pray. I guess my only option then was to visit Iya Hassan’s buka upstreet with the intention of devouring any morsel that comes my way. Unbeknownst to me, the heavens had other agenda as the sun which had been shining mercilessly on helpless humans some minutes ago suddenly hid it’s malevolent face at the sight of approaching dark clouds. In a twinkle of an eye, the floodgates of the heavens opened and a heavy downpour came crashing down on mother earth. I looked at myself with self pity and muttered “Hunger must not kill you today.” At that moment, I remembered and appreciated the value of having garri (a product that needs no advert but sells more than noodles) readily at home. I dashed to the kitchen, poured some into a plate and added a sachet of powdered milk and two cubes of sugar. I opened the fridge to get groundnuts and without minding the coldness of the weather I drenched the garri in a pool of water imprisoned in the fridge for 72 hours. As I sat down to consume my hunger saver with my back against the sofa, butt on the floor, right leg stretching and left leg forming an acute angle with the ground, I picked up my phone to check for massages and to see the other happenings in the social space. First, I checked my mailbox, then instagram, twitter, whatsapp and finally facebook. While going through facebook, I stumbled upon an advert: Cmonionline Essay Competition. My right hand which had been transporting the squishy material from the plate into my mouth quickly dropped as I adjusted my sitting position. “Man Oh Man!” I exclaimed, “It’s even an ongoing weekly competition with monetary incentives as a reward.” I was overawed! It was exciting to have come across an online platform that encourages writers, gives them the opportunity to share their thoughts and hone their skills, and most importantly provide monetary benefits, all in one package. I have always had passion for writing from a younger age until now. I eagerly looked forward to experiencing new things everyday on which I can write. I have pens and books in all my bags so that no matter where I am whenever another idea comes, I wouldn’t be searching for writing materials. Similarly, I have stationery in strategic locations in my room so that I could easily pick them to use whenever a creative thought comes knocking in my mind. Due to my love for writing, I have written several unpublished plays and articles, fictional stories and a good number of published works. It is understandable then that my interest was genuinely piqued when I saw the Cmonionline Essay Competition advert. It was like the famous phrase made by Marvel’s comic hero Captain America: “Avengers Assemble!” But this time however, it wasn’t fictional superheroes against an alien with magical stones but real writers against intelligent topics. Some topics are on political issues and current affairs which need an iron fist handling or a hulk smashing approach with good research and preparation. Other topics centre on core social issues in our society to be tackled with thunderbolt efficacy while other topics tests our creative abilities. The latter requires a silly approach using one’s wit and heightened imagination to create stories while connecting them together like a spider does with its webs. Whenever I see the topics to write on, I try to decipher which one I would better portray. Then I make research if it has to do with current affairs or social issues. Asides that, I try to test my creativity by building stories in my mind and sometimes tweaking some real life events I had experienced or seen or that I have heard being narrated into a beautiful piece. Over the weeks, I have benefited a lot in the competition, from winning some of the prizes to reading beautiful pieces of written artworks by exquisite wordsmiths most of whom I try to emulate in order to be the best version of myself and to attain the pinnacle of my writing skills. I want to sincerely commend the organizers of this impeccable platform as well as the untiring judges and I hope this will continue for a very long time. At the same time, I would also appreciate it if the community could operate in such a way that writers could easily communicate with one another openly and share thoughts and suggestions together making it look more like a family of writers with the aim of improving ourselves. Conclusively, every week, when I check the twitter handle for the new topics to be written on, I could hear the unspoken words of Cmonionline saying: “Writers Assemble!” Humble Ogbonna, a Diction and Phonetics Instructor with a passion  for writing sent in this entry from humbleoogbonna@gmail.com

Blog, Resources

British Council is promoting writing in indigenous language.

The British Council has announced that it is partnering with African Storybook Initiative to host a workshop aimed at promoting writing in indigenous languages. A statement released on its website stated thus: The British Council in collaboration with the African Storybook Initiative invites writers and illustrators to participate in a residential workshop for the production of mother-tongue based multilingual storybooks. The workshop is a component of the broader Story Making West Africa project which aims to promote the arts, education and mother-tongue-based multilingual education in Sub-Saharan Africa. Writers and illustrators are therefore encouraged to seize this amazing opportunity and attend a 5-day residential workshop that will include other participants from Senegal, Sierra Leone, and Ghana. It will be facilitated by trainers from the African Storybook initiative and will be fully funded by the British Council inclusive of travel, accommodation and a little stipend. Interested people can apply here immediately as the deadline is midnight, 21 February 2018. As usual, you can thank me later.

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