With the growing concerns that the country’s fragile peace may shatter will the leaders of Ethiopia intensify or reverse their efforts to muzzle an independent press? I believe that many Ethiopians would bet on the former.
We have allowed a group led by unelected renegades appropriate a sole franchise to define and proselytise our Igbo identity in a violent and despicable manner.
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it” -Nicholas Sparks. I stared at his message till the letters squirmed like snakes. It says. “ hey hi this thing between us is no longer working, I quit.” That was my 3 and half year relationship. It broke me. I did the usual thing every girl who truly loved would do after a breakup. The question that kept popping up in my head was “How do I move on?”. Just like a trader whose shop got burnt.. I had to start all over again. I feared change. For someone like me who has had 3 relationships each lasting for 3 yrs. I began to think I was the problem. I gave my relationships my best, I was this doting girlfriend. I replayed the situation that led to my breakup in my head and wondered where I went wrong. So I courageously started my healing process. I knew it would not be an easy one but it was a journey I was so eager to embark on. Many times I tried to downplay the effect my break-up had on me but it always found a way to gnaw its way back to my heart. The first week had me reminiscing on the good times in my relationship. I missed my ex and I would call begging to come back but he was adamant. I would watch pictures, and listen to voice notes and phone recordings. It made me tear up and I always wondered if I was jinxed to not being in a good relationship where I am loved as I love. In the second week, I got hold of a little self-respect and stopped calling but depression came knocking on my door. My mouth would say “I am ok” but it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. So I Googled how to get over a breakup and one of the things I saw was getting myself busy. I was already busy so I decided to make myself busier. I signed up for an online fashion and design class. It was fun, never knew I even had a knack for being creative. I got engrossed and busy but there was still that aura of sadness. One month later, I felt cold and withdrawn so I googled for other options and I found many. This one said to get into a relationship. Logically speaking that didn’t sit well with me but I didn’t want to keep feeling this way. So I started dating. I didn’t date him for up to a month then we broke up, it was kind of mutual. I moved on with my life the same way I was a month ago. Like a dying flower, I hung my head and yet again surfed the net for more answers. I had made up my mind to quit my frantic search if this also went South. I saw many options but one struck me. It said “self love”. I stopped to think about that, How do you love yourself? I wondered. Did I love myself enough or at all? Remembering all my past relationships, I was mostly altruistic, my anthem was basically “ am fine don’t worry about me”. Yet again altruism is good right, I kept asking myself as I went to bed that night. So the next day while at work, into a search engine, I typed “how to love yourself” and was quite amazed at what I saw. So I started another healing process with high hopes. First off I let go because at times some people think that holding on makes you strong but sometimes letting go can make you stronger. Every morning I told myself I was enough and my happiness was my choice to make. If I say that was an easy thing to do, call me an incorrigible liar. Later on, I started buying stuff for myself, If I saw what I loved and I had the money I would go for it. Since my breakup, I have not hung out with anyone. I always wondered who I would go with. Then yet again my search online told me otherwise. To give myself a special treat. I did that and I felt weird at first but as I continued I started liking the feeling. I found out I loved my own company. The next thing on the list was self-growth. After much research, I found out that aside from my academics I had done next to nothing about myself. Fully engrossed in making myself a better version of myself, I had forgotten the reason that led me to this. In losing my relationship I found the true me. Self-love is so underrated because no body will take care of you for you, and no one will love you more than yourself or God. Arueze Chisom Precious, a passionate writer can be reached through sommytilly1402@gmail.com
My life has been lead by him. With his thick, threatening voice he controlled me. I loved it that way. At least, I never complained about it; or maybe I couldn’t do anything then. My love was not static. On many occasions, I embark on the journey of leaving, him but I couldn’t last without him. I always ended up running back to him. Whenever I remember how he did save me from shame, my heart becomes a candle wax that thaws in the presence of heat; I will fall deeper like a stone into an ocean, which will trigger me into gravitating back into his ever welcoming arms. He utilizes a particular event to draw me back to him. I was nominated to represent my school in a public speaking/fashion contest. He wouldn’t let me go. I had to tell my principal that I can’t make it. I thought it was resolved only to be welcomed by the angry faces of my parents. I couldn’t tell them my reason for turning down the offer. I was mandated to represent my school. We went to this competition. I took him alongside with me without the knowledge of my parents or principal. Soon, we were called on stage as the event kicked off. I remembered what he told me. He knew so well that I always listen to his voice. He asked me not to mess my self up in the stage. Instead, I should do the needful when there is still time. His words echoed in my ear that my whole body was shaken. I felt goose pimples on my skin. My hands began to tremble. I knew that his words were about to come true. To save myself just like he said, I ran through the stairs out of the podium, into the dressing room. My principal and teacher came after me. After a few minutes of trying to get me back on stage which I made impossible, Nmadi, another student who rehearsed with me as my opponent was quickly dressed, up to take my place. You may not understand why I said he saved me from shame. This is the reason. We prepared for a fashion/public speaking contest, but the tables were turned. It was a fashion/quiz competition. Those girls were disgraced in the name of questions. It was all over the news. Everyone was talking about it. I was always grateful that I listened to him whenever I recall the event. Most of my classmates hailed me; they said I foresaw what will happen and took precaution. Ever since then, his warning sends cold shivering on me. I couldn’t go against him in anything. His has been making decisions in my life until I met my current muse. He showed me the way out on that faithful day that I wasn’t allowed to listen to my ex. My school teacher introduced me to my new, prevailing muse. With the help of my muse, I conquered my ex. During our graduation, She insisted that I would read the welcome address. Of course, she was aware of what happened the last time; how I ran out from the stage. She called me after we met with the principal and told me that I would be reading the welcome address. “Madam Simi”, I don… Hold it there right there”, she interrupted me. “You will read it and that is final. Meet me before you leave the school premises today for further discussion”, she said walking away, as her high heeled shoes formulated beats with the ground, which her skirt swayed to its rhythm. “Another wahala“, I muttered under my breath. I found myself in her office after two hours. I must confess that Madam simi is an observant teacher. She discovered my ex. I couldn’t help but travelled into the world of admiration when she was explaining everything to me. She taught me some powerful words. Words that when I said them, my ex ran away, and has never come back. She taught me that I can do anything I want. If I could dream it, I can equally be it. She told me that I only have to decide. Just like Jesus in the Bible, she presented my conflict and my solution before me to chose. She advised me to chose a solution. I would forever be grateful to Madam Simi, she led me to my selfless friend. Meet my friend who helped me to overcome my conflict ‘Fear’. His name is Courage. Onyeukwu Favour wrote in via mmesomachigodstar@gmail.com
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