I open my eyes slowly and sit up in bed. The rays of the sun are already streaming into the thatched hut. It is a big hut; one of the few luxuries Ikemefuna had left me before his passage to the great beyond.  It had been a cold night. It is expected because we are already in the core of the rainy season – a season our colonial masters fear the most because it comes with an increase of vectors and eventually, the spread of diseases which their European DNA is not accustomed to. Why not just give us independence and go back to your home, anyway? I look down at Nkechi and Chidifu still sprawled on the mattress and chuckle at the sight that meets my eyes. Nkechi has her legs a little distance from Chidifu’s mouth which is open allowing the undisturbed trail of saliva flowing down to his arm. Nkechi obviously took from me. I had always been a bad sleeper. I can still remember  mama waking me up at night, shouting “Odiegwu!” and telling me to adjust myself. As for Chidifu, he, no doubt, took from his father. I chuckle at the thought of Ikemefuna running on legs as little as Chidifu’s and drooling saliva from his mouth when he slept. Oh! How I miss him. I don’t plan on cleaning the drool off Chidifu’s mouth. I would tease him with it a little when he awakes. I adjust Nkechi’s legs and get up from the mattress – it has already become threadbare. I should get a new one soon but I plan on leaving this village with Chidifu and Nkechi and settle in Aba. Yes, I had talked about it with brother Okoro when I had gone to visit him there two years ago – shortly after the death of Di’m. It was the first time I had travelled out of Mmu-Mmenyi, my village in Bende LGA of Abia state. Brother Okoro is my elder brother and most favourite in the family. It has been this way since childhood and sometimes, the memories of our escapades when we were much younger makes me smile. Brother Okoro works as a clerk in the Post Office in Aba. This makes communications between us easy because he gets my letters as soon as they arrive and there isn’t any delay in receiving his letters too. The last time I was there, he had told me of his plans to get boats and canoes with his savings. He would employ the services of good boat men that would convey people through the Azumini Blue River and report to him with the profits. His letters over the last two years had made reference to this and he was making good progress. Thanks are to Chukwu. I hope to make such good progress too. I just cannot continue to bear the difficulty that has continued to buffet me here in Mmu-mmenyi. If only Ikemefuna were to be here. Well, I had resigned to my fate a long time ago for the sake of our children. I do know that it will be a difficult journey – it has been a difficult journey – and the thoughts of what awaits chills me to my bones but then, I have no other option. Giving up really isn’t an option. Sometimes, I simply cry myself to sleep because it gets so tough and I get so lonely without Di’m, my husband. However, I get an upwelling of strength after crying and I do move on. Brother Okoro does help too. He has been kind enough to send some money once in a while but I try not to burden him. He has his family to cater for and mama too depends on him. Besides, he is still trying to establish himself. I should think of doing same in whatever way I can. I walk to the door and push the lock out of its position. Little quantity of sand falls off as I do this – an indication of termites. The insects must have found that my door post has become weak due to the incessant rain. I make a mental note to sprinkle some tinder mixed with charcoal on the door post later on. It is bright outside. I can see smoke rising into the sky over the mud fence from Ekwefi’s kitchen. She is always up early. Unlike mine, Ekwefi’s husband is still very much alive; Hale and hearty. He is a good hunter and manages a big yam farm. Ogbonna is quite handsome and sometimes, Ekwefi tells me of the adventure they have in the bedroom when all is dark. She giggles shyly when she talks about Ogbonna’s prowess in bed. “O siri ike dika igwe! It is long and strong like iron. It sometimes touches my heart.” She would say, referring to Ogbonna’s manhood and then, burst into raucous laughter as she gesticulated. At times, I get jealous but most of the time, I enjoy the gist and later feel slippery in between my thighs. You cannot blame me; my libido did not cease to exist when Ikemefuna died. The truth is that I have had several advances from men in Mmu-Mmenyi. Even Thomas Milliard, a white official that handles the affairs here in Mmu-Mmenyi has intercepted me severally on my way home from the market. He is white and handsome with brown beards but on days when the sun gets too hot, Captain Thomas’s face becomes red like ripe palm fruits and I don’t find this attractive in any way. Indeed, having the captain ask me for an affair is considered by others as a good opportunity and I see how genuine he is, but I can’t see myself being with another man except Ikemefuna. Not to talk of a white man, a district officer for that matter. “Ekwefi, are you up?” I shout in the direction of her compound. “Nwanneoma! Yes, I am cooking.” Her voice