Home Essays Love Is Not Real by Opara Udochukwu.

Love Is Not Real by Opara Udochukwu.

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‘Love is not real’. I know you will be pondering over that statement, but on a more serious note, I mean every damn word in that statement. Several times, in big Nollywood movies, there is always this crazy scene that will try to portray love as a very big ordeal. Whenever I see that, I will mutter to myself ‘that is rubbish’. Love is meaningless and does not exist in this generation.

“Let’s dance in style Let’s dance for a while Heaven can wait we’re only watching the skies Hoping for the best but expecting the worst Are you gonna drop the bomb or not? Let’s us die young or let us live forever We don’t have the power but we never say never”

Those were the exact lyrics of a very popular song titled ‘Forever Young’ by Jay-Z and Mr Hudson. Am pretty sure that those words by Jay-Z and Mr Hudson were expressing the agony of life. The truth remains that, Man is full of burning expectations. We always hope for the best but on the other hand, we keep our eyes open for the worst to come. Well, this was my case during valentine.

Sitting on a small stool, opposite my wardrobe in my small apartment, with my phone on my hands and scrolling along the street of twitter. My heart was heavy and my face said a lot about my present situation. Pain and sadness engulfed me until I stumbled across the picture of this light-skin and pretty young lady.

‘Love’ as people say, comes at first sight and this was apparently my case. At first glance, I fell in love with this lady. ‘I love this lady’ I muttered for the umpteenth time scratching my head. I could feel my heart beat and was so willingly to take actions without given it a thought. The thing about love is, it makes one seem foolish. You know the thing about humans? We are always desperate to satisfy our quest in life. Such desperation is what makes us to go extra mile in achieving things we deem as success. This was just me with this pretty lady, I was so desperate in knowing her.

I was so eager to text this lady but it was seeming like, I couldn’t speak again because no single word was trying to come up in my mind. I was speechless like a new born baby.

Sitting on the stool, with my left hand on my chin and my phone on my right hand, thinking holistically on what to text this lady. Finally! After several minutes of thinking and sweating on my clothes like someone who is about to be slaughtered, I came up with an idea. It was looking like, I just figured out the solution that even the world smartest man could not. That feeling when you offered a solution that even Albert Einsten couldn’t figure out. That was how I felt, like a genius.

Going back to my phone at regular intervals, putting my mobile data on and going straight to the chat, became a routine for me. You could say that I was anxious because indeed, I was. My heart ponded as I await this lady to reply. Days passed into weeks and weeks moving up to months, yet I was still kept in the dark. No reply came forth.

I could remember vividly, it was on a Sunday morning when she suddenly replied, because we were just coming home from church and every Sunday in my home meant church. My mother was-and still is-a deeply religious woman. Very christian. Like indigenous people around the world, black Africans adopted the religion of our colonizers. By ‘adopt’ I mean it was forced on us. The white man was quite stern with the native. “You need to pray to Jesus”, Jesus will save you. But the more we went to church and the longer I sat in those pews the more I learned about how Christianity works: if you’re Native American and you pray to the wolves, you’re a savage. If you’re African and you pray to your ancestors, you’re primitive. But when white people pray to a guy who turns water into wine, well, that’s just common sense, but that’s beside the point.

Seeing the notification of her text on my phone, my heart began to beat faster than normal. Filled with suspense, so I didn’t even give it a second on opening the text. Wow! She responded warmly. Staring at the text, series of questions began to creep into my mind. Does it mean she has feelings for me too? Or, Does it mean she wants to befriend me? No one could help me answer those questions. Deep down in me, I really loved this lady and really wanted her to reciprocate that same love for me. I gave the whole incidence a second thought and decided to text her again. This time, it was so different, she replied within the snapped of my finger. In that manner, that was how we began to communicate. You know the thing with communication? It creates a forum for relationship to start. Well, that was how our relationship began. ‘Relationship’ as some people will rather say, grows like a cancer while some other people will say, grows like a fibroid. You know how fibroid grows? A fibroid can grow as little as the size of mustered seed to as big as a watermelon and this is how relationship grows.

As time progressed, so did the relationship begin to grow and blossom. You wouldn’t say that the relationship was totally an online relationship because we do meet physically on several occasions and sometimes, we do go out for outings. Just like couples in Nollywood movies will always do. I could recall every single incidence that took place in our first outing, because that was the very first time in my life, I went for an outing with a girl, so I was kind of shy at first. You know, there is always a first time in everything. I grew up in a home with very little exposure to popular culture. Marlins were not allowed in my father’s house. Songs about some guy grinding on a girl all night long? No, no, no. That was forbidden.

I would hear my follow guys at school discussing about their val and I quickly remembered that valentine is fast approaching. I didn’t want to be left out or to be seen as a ‘Jew guy’ as they will say. Who will be my val? I asked myself. ‘I don’t want to feel lonely’ I murmured to myself. I needed someone to come to my rescue. Thinking aggressively, who will that be? The only person that could ring in my head was this pretty young lady by name Favour, who I came across on twitter.

The long awaited day was gradually approaching and I quickly went to a shopping-mull, picked the things that I felt she liked and packaged them softly and neatly. The night before that day, I couldn’t sleep, rolling on my bed to and fro, thinking on what will happen the next day. Morning finally came, I called her to let her know our meeting point and time. After some discussion, we finally agreed on the time that will be convenient for us to meet and the place that will be more suitable. Patiently waiting for time to pass by so we can meet, it was seeming like the clock has paused because, I could no longer feel time moving again. I was so impatient to wait any longer and so, I decided to reach the place we agreed on and wait for her to come. I was filled with joy, ‘finally am gonna propose to the love of my life’, I said to myself. On getting there, at first glance I could see her, my heart was pondering faster as I was approaching her. As I approached her, here was this guy who was holding her on her hands. Seeing it, tears began to rush down from my eyes, ‘so I have been deceived all this while’ I muttered to myself as I slumped on the ground.

Waking up and lying lifelessly on the hospital bed, I managed to recall what has just gone wrong. The whole incidence was just playing on my head. With tears, I muttered to myself, ‘love is not real’.

Opara Udochukwu Kingsley, a 100 level medical student of Alex Ekwueme Federal University of Ndufu Alike Ikwo (AE-FUNAI) Ebonyi state wrote in from oparaudochukwu277@gmail.com

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