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Many Are Mad But Few Are Roaming by Arueze Chisom.

A part of me knew I could die if I stayed longer, we hadn’t gone half way to the market but immediately I saw we were not on the highway, I voiced out my concern. “O ga apu ebea!” (  I am alighting here in Igbo language), I shouted. The bus conductor pulled the door, and it shrieked in pain  the bus stopped and every single soul in it scrambled out like little children on a school bus.We were all white in the face like we had seen a ghost. Not that we had reached our destination but because we wanted to meet our loved ones again in one piece. The conductor burst out in laughter saying he never knew we loved our lives so much, the preacher man who was still muttering his blood of Jesus, glared at him and that him cracked him up the more. While some of us were too shocked to speak, the fat lady was still going at the driver just like 10 minutes ago. “Ekwensu”, ajo mmuo( devil, evil spirit) she spat “Amosu” ( witch) he replied. As I stood there waiting for my balance from the conductor my mind did a quick rewind on what just happened .Minutes earlier   a man on an oversized, dusty, rumpled black suit had cleared his throat and asked us to join him in prayer. We sang and prayed. Then he began  preaching, while talking he was vibrating like a ringing phone, matter of fact he actually spat on me, he knew and he didn’t apologize. He preached about not being afraid of anything but he is the one right now, shaking like a leaf while muttering blood of Jesus. The old woman who had been shouting at the top of her lungs, “Driver jiri ya nwayo!” (driver take it easy)  sat on a cement block, trying to catch her breathe. Then I remember as she spoke  it felt like those words only fueled him more.Then in his defense he replied that why will someone on the passenger seat tell him what to do at the steering wheel. This had infuriated the fat market woman who had been complaining of how tiny the space behind the chairs were. “You must be a mad man” she said angrily at the driver. “You are madder than me” the driver spat. I remember as we were swerving from left  to right, screaming out to the driver to slow down but it felt like we were pouring water on a rock. Then I bumped heads with the guy on headphone. I didn’t find it funny and I voiced out my anger but in mild words. As if to spite us the passengers, he stepped on the brakes, which made us jump in our seats, hitting our heads in different places.  The bus was not a rickety one but with his driving it felt like one. He was over taking all the vehicles on the highway most times without horning. Then everyone starting screaming. He would speed off, with every pot hole he passed, we all felt the pains on our bodies. Now I don’t know if this driver felt he was Vin Diesel in fast and furious (because he was bald), but yet again this was real life. The lady that had been tapping away at her phone decided to wake up and smell the coffee.  The guy on headphone had taken them off . Every single hair on my body stood attention.  The preacher man was so scared, he kept screaming, Blood of Jesus! Blood of Jesus! When he got close to a big trailer, that he tried over taking. We shouted louder, the old woman behind him almost gave him a slap on the head  The fat woman couldn’t hold it in, she started raining insults on him. “ Onye Ara, ifuro na idika Ihe e ji atu Aja”( mad man, can’t you see you look like what is being used for sacrifice). She also told him, he was a wizard and wasn’t able to impregnate a woman. While the driver who didn’t know much insults was just saying the few he knew. He alternated between saying just two words. “Amosu!, Ekwensu!”. They were at that till they left the highway.  The driver didn’t want to give up. As we were about to leave that place, the old woman said she would have looked at the driver before entering the bus. I raised an eyebrow. She said the younger he is  the more reckless and stupid he will be. I chuckled. When I looked at the driver, he was young and also he had sprayed his hair green, and that was where the problem started. I left there to look for another bus going to market. This market was the reason I was in this mess.   Arueze Chisom Precious, a passionate writer can be reached through sommytilly1402@gmail.com            

Essays, Writers

Our Rat Race With A Business Mad Man by Osanyinro Oluwaseun. 

  I knew it would be stupid of me not to join the crowd at that moment. The adage “don’t follow the crowd” was not applicable in this situation. I mean, whatever could cause people to be running while I walked in the opposite direction had to be that dangerous. With a quick turn, I took to my heels while wondering what was the cause of the chaos. My inquisitive side got hold of me as I asked my partner in the race if he knew what we were running from. I was not disappointed; he also did not know. He joined the crowd like me. I asked another beside me and got the same answer. I looked up and asked God for mercy as we were all running a rat race and none knew why.  Some seconds after, we stopped and turned back to watch. Others had stopped too and I felt it was high time I knew what made me do an unnecessary exercise in a hot afternoon. I pushed my way between the still panting runners straight to meet anyone who had an idea of what was pursuing us. However, my sudden boldness was short-lived as we all heard the words “excuse me” and everyone started running again. Before I joined the host of many others, I caught a glimpse of a man totally in tattered clothes, holding a stick and coming at us. Well, I got my answer. We were being chased by a mad man ready to instill injuries on us. I ran with all my might but it seemed the mad man was a better runner. He was getting closer. It had been long a mad man had displayed such height of madness in our community and I began to wonder whether my mother’s dream was coming to reality.  My mother had called me earlier that week that I should be careful in my going out and coming in. With various verses of the scriptures, she prayed till her airtime got exhausted. I didn’t bother calling her back because I didn’t want to be disturbed by her scary dream. Now it seemed it was finally coming to reality. Coming back to the present, I realized the mad man had stopped to rest and people had stopped too. I was getting angry. I had places to go but this was a one-way street and the only way was the mad man’s way. People had started going back home to come out whenever the man had passed. Others were entering people’s shop for cover while children saw this as a time to test the strength of their limbs as they moved close to him and then ran away again. I could not go back home and so I looked around for a shop that I could quickly seek refuge.   Sadly, the mad man did not let me make my decision as he started walking right to me. People began running again but I stood transfixed. I think I was paralyzed with fear already as he came closer. Mothers were shouting and praying and men began looking for whatever they could use to tie him down. I just stood recalling my mother’s prayers and asking for her forgiveness. I must have almost wet my trousers when I heard his clear voice. I think he must have said “excuse me Sir” thrice before I realized it was coming from the mad man. My fear turned to laughter immediately. I was sure onlookers would have thought he had transferred the madness to me as he came close. Once he saw he had my attention, he sighed out of relief. He pleaded with me not to run that he was not chasing me. Explaining further, he said he did not have an extra iota of strength to chase and could barely walk hence the use of the stick. My question of who exactly he was made him sigh again. At this time, people began coming closer. Maybe to watch two madmen interact, who knows. Seeing my back up around, I demanded in all authority to know who he was and why he was chasing the community. He explained that he was a business man kidnapped a month ago who escaped his captors and had been wandering around the bush hence his appearance. He was simply trying to get someone to explain his predicament but his look made people think he a mad man and his hurried steps towards them made them think he was pursuing them. He simply made the whole community exercise their limbs today. Thankfully, we were able to provide better clothes and lead him to the police station.   One leaving, one of the men said he now believed one should not judge a book by its cover. The madman was not a madman after all. Well, I disagree. Everyone has a way of dressing for easy recognition before their first speech. A banker, a doctor, a carpenter, a prostitute and even a madman. The madman’s appearance denied him any opportunity to speak. He was already addressed as a mad man though he was a business man.       Osanyinro Oluwaseun, a graduate of Microbiology and currently a master student of Public Health at the University of Ibadan runs a blog on WordPress deejemima.wordpress.com

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