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Blog, Creative Essays, Writers

“Shap Shap” by Faith Oyadiran

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I know a very bright young man. He lacked proficiency in the English language. He is very diligent (I’m not giving out his details so people won’t come for me). He was asked to give another word that could replace “hurriedly.” In his innocence, he wrote “shap shap.” One of my girls saw it and burst into laughter. I had a good laugh as well. I must reiterate that the young man did it innocently. I will assume that the song “Oluwa, answer me sharp, sharp, answer me sharp, sharp” from Funke Akindele’s epic Blockbuster “Battle on Buka Street” will naturally pop up in your head like it did in mine. After that event, I headed to my office. I needed to be alone. I adjusted my chair, drew my table close and blanked out of my immediate environment. I mulled over that particular incident. It was hilarious but the paradox didn’t elude me. It is a representation of how rationality has been rationed over the years. We have transcended the vistas of logic. “Sharp sharp” has morphed into “shap shap” At that moment, I realized the importance of “deep work” which stood in stark contrast to “shap shap” I joined a writing group (A Book in a Year, hosted by @cmonionline) in May, and I can remember two different sessions where the resource personnel emphasized the importance of “deep work.” It lent more depth to my contemplations. “We are the generation that is quick to put everything on display including our folly” I concluded. Process, depth, and diligence often eroded in a whiff. Hotness and parsimony have been awarded prominence over posterity. “Balloons and balloons,” my friend and I once joked. An occasion without them is criticized as not colourful. A church service without them is bland and unorganized. Gifts and flowers without them are watered down. Pastries without them are regarded as a “mountain of flours” and so on. My friend further mimicked a scenario from the Bible in the old KJV’s voice: “O ye generation of balloons, who has bewitched you into the blow fast and ‘poof’ in a swift doctrine? The essence of the joke was to foreground how deep we have sunk into shallowness. We quest for everything like fast food but neglect the transcendence that comes from meticulous efforts. This is why the gaps in many success stories will forever remain unarticulated. The process can never be cheated. I reminisce on Ralph Ellison’s ‘Invisible Man.’ My intent is not to draw attention to the shenanigans surrounding the settings of the literary work. Neither do I seek to draw away the sympathy the protagonist has garnered across ages. I’m intrigued by the unnamed guy’s demise into oblivion. He embarked on adventures to gain a voice. Every measure of visibility he attains makes him more obscure. The irony of the story comes to the fore when the unnamed hero cements his invisibility by ending up in a manhole buried forever in oblivion. In isolation, we discover that he has been given a rare opportunity in the form of time, obscurity, and a perfect atmosphere to do an appraisal. We have the tools for lasting success at our disposal, so why not give due diligence to careful observation? Pay attention to details. Ponder and rummage. Study and gather facts. Then give yourself time to grow. Investing in the wind guarantees that you will be swept away by the formidable momentum it yields. Oyadiran Faith is a graduate of English Language and Literary Studies from Obafemi Awolowo University Osun State, Nigeria. He is an avid reader and a passionate writer. He currently works as a Diction instructor. He is on Instagram as @Op_bolu and can be reached @oyadiranfaithopeyemi@gmail.com

Blog, Lifestyle

Success Journey VI.

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It is necessary to state one important rule here; Unless there is a sudden urgency try and stick with the heirrachy as prioritised in your task list for these two reasons.

It gives you more control over your work/study period.
With time you adapt to it and will remember those tasks which you may have forgotten to write down in the morning.

Blog, Writers

An Employee’s Experience By Uju Okeke

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  The worse thing that can happen to an employer is to surround him/herself with people that do not tell them the truth, a bunch of sycophants. I have been an employee and an employer, most times combining both, so my view is very balanced. The people that work for you are your greatest assets, but some employers see them as less than human. We all know that the country is hard, no jobs, etc. Once there is high employee turnover, despite the hardship in the country, the fault is entirely that of the employer. I finished University pretty early, stayed for 7 years where I did my NYSC and 4 years in another place before I set up my business. Sometime last year or thereabout, I took up paid employment by the side because business was very slow. In less than a week, I knew I would go mad if I stayed. The environment was toxic, the female owner encouraged snitching and wheedling. No one takes responsibility for a mistake because the owner deducts money from the salary of those that make mistakes. The screaming and insults etc, it was a mad, unprofessional house. I was immune from that side, considering I was a management staff, but I wasn’t blind to all the shenanigans. With the number of times I had to say ‘No’ to her instructions that contravenes Nigerian Labour Law, I knew that sooner or later, we would butt heads big time, I didn’t want it to get to that. Every two weeks or so, we will have a review and she will gush about how much weight I had lifted off her shoulders. When the three months probation was up and I was to be confirmed, my ulcer issues came back strongly. I started having panic attacks. I hated going to the office or even staying there and because of the whole management staff thing, I couldn’t just resign in other not to demotivate the staff etc. To cut this long story short, I decided to travel to the UK to fix something any hospital in Abuja could have easily done and bade them farewell. My review after I told her I was leaving went from her normal gushing to being overly critical. I felt sorry for her because it was an obvious case of sour grapes and I couldn’t be bothered. She most likely bad mouthed me to our common friend that introduced me to her initially, because when I told that one I was leaving, my message was read but unanswered. In my thoughts, I just said “screw you both” and deleted her number sharply. I managed to make a few good friends there, so that’s a win. In less than a year, about 10 or more staff have left the company, most left without another job offer, but just relieved to be free from the toxicity. For those that work for me, I treat them the way I want to be treated. If they make mistakes, I encourage them to own their mistakes, learn from it and keep it moving. In places I have worked, I try to change the belief that HR people practice witchcraft. The Human Resource practitioners are strategic business partners, change agents, administrative experts and employee champions, but some easily forget the latter and have become suppression enablers. Let us do better and treat people with respect. Your business will thank you for it, your greatest assets will want to keep working to move the organisation ahead. The company I wrote about is currently mandating her workers to sign bonds. Imagine if the only way you can get people to stay in the toxic space you created, is to force them to sign bonds that enslave them to you for a couple of years. God forbid.

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